to: all, with apologies to nico di angelo

[areou]

( the message is deliberately written in ancient greek. for most summoned, the network will auto-translate, but she's hoping there might be others who recognize the original text. )

WILL SOLACE COME RETRIEVE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOTH I'M NOT HIS BABYSITTER

( helpfully, she adds an illustration that no one asked for: )



( then, because nico seriously needs more friends and it's her duty as former head counselor of the ares cabin to embarrass any and all younger campers: )

↖  BTW THIS IS NICO
HE LOVES LONG WALKS THROUGH THE UNDERWORLD AND BROODING IN GRAVEYARDS
HE'S SPOKEN FOR BUT I'M SURE HE'LL BE THE AFTERLIFE OF YOUR NEXT PARTY
CHALLENGE HIM TO A GAME OF MYTHOMAGIC TODAY!!!

ALSO IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS SEEN THESE DEMIGODS CONTACT ME ASAP
LOOKS LIKE ZEUS IS SUPER FUCKING PISSED AGAIN AND WE NEED A GAMEPLAN

( more shitty doodles follow, this time vaguely resembling percy and annabeth, although this time she labels them: )



— CLARISSE LA RUE, DRAKON-SLAYER, DAUGHTER OF ARES

( she figures she may as well cover all her bases here since all of this feels like a ren faire on steroids anyway.

ooc | threadjacking is more than welcome and, frankly, encouraged. let's all go hog boar wild. 🫡 )

Comments

[areou]

( it's really a shame there isn't audio, because clarisse would love for this lady to hear her laugh in her face. )

Oh, wow, it's funny you think you can threaten me
I've been surviving my whole fucking life, s u g a r, I don't need you or anyone else in this weird fucking fantasyland
You wanna start shit with me? Be my fucking guest
You will regret it

[princessvegas]

Name a time and place, bitch. I've never gotten a chance to test if I can flambe a person from the inside out like I can do a sand cat, but you seem to be volunteering. The outside burns the same either way.

[nomnoms]

CAT WHERE

[itookashot]

Julie, come on, they're newbies, they're excitable. Give them one day of this, they'll relax.

[princessvegas]

I gave her a chance, Jesper.

[itookashot]

I know but we don't usually jump right to flambe because someone is chattering too much on the internet. Zone it out, if she's still being annoying tomorrow you guys can fight it out.

[princessvegas]

I can turn the internet off without missing the next announcement someone's gotten kidnapped or killed. She's the one asking for it.

[areou]

Aw, now you're just flirting with me, sweetheart
Dawn, tomorrow
I'll let you have the honor of choosing where you die

[princessvegas]

Why wait?

[ Clarisse might notice that the storm raging outside is suddenly getting much worse. And those cracks of lightning and thunder are curiously becoming louder. Much, much louder. ]

If you're feeling froggy, then leap.

[areou]

( she's seen what a son of jupiter can do. she's not afraid of any storms. )

And not give your sad little friends time to plan your funeral?
I'm not that inconsiderate

private | clarisse & percy

[sophos]

Clarisse.
This whole thing is bullshit on her part but put on the breaks. Pause for a second. Think, I know you can. You know we've got your back, right?
It's not about winning. We know you can do that, Drakon Slayer. We're spread too thin here and there's still a lot to figure out.
We need your help too.

[princessvegas]

[ No son of Jupiter has a direct feedback loop with the source of the universe's magic — but Julie does. In fact, this whole argument can trace at least some of its roots back to the fact that Julie hasn't been able to sleep properly in weeks because she's so keyed from this never-ending tantrum of the monolith's — anyone's patience would be on a hair trigger after this long. ]

Aw, someone sounds cranky. Go on, listen to YOUR friends and sit down. They know what's best for you.

[sonofacesius]

Clarisse? Do you think you could, like, not kill the mortal?
As a favor?

At the very least can she keep her limbs?

Most of her limbs?

2 limbs?

[sonofacesius]

Hey Clarisse. Let me put it a different way.

Knock it the fuck off, okay?

[divasmio]

Clarisse.

[ Well shit, here's his first crash course in parenting, apparently. Clarisse is an adult and has never answered to Apollo in her life, but he's going to make the attempt. It's hard to get Ares to stand down... ever, but maybe Clarisse can be reasoned with. ]

That's enough.

[areou]

( UR NOT HER DAD!!! )

Why don't you act like a god and stay the fuck out of it, Apollo
She said she wanted to flambé me
Only a coward would back down from a threat like that

private

[divasmio]

[ WHAT GAVE IT AWAY? THE FACT THAT HE'S PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU??? ]

Clarisse, I know you're not a coward. Percy and Annabeth know. Nico and Will know. Why do you care what this woman thinks? Her opinion doesn't matter.

[sonofacesius]

You know what? The next person to start a fight here gets herpes.

Could be yellow fever, I'm still practicing.

Both of you. Calm the fuck down.

[princessvegas]

You must not know much about Nadine if you think I'm afraid of that shit.

[sonofacesius]

I know plenty about Nadine.

It's not about fear. It's about stopping and using your brain. Do you have one?

[princessvegas]

You clearly don't know dick, or else you'd know I'm not just "your boss's friend".

Do you? I was here before you, I'll be here long after you're gone, and I am not the one. Why don't you go off and restock some of MY products?

[ Oh, did Nadine not share that? That the apothecary's primary product line is Julie's brainchild and equally belongs to her? Oops. ]

[princessvegas]

And I didn't start shit. I just told your little friend to not clog up everyone's vision. Y'all are the ones making threats and gassing each other up.

[sonofacesius]

Actually I think you did. You were the one who was rude.

Not saying she wasn't rude back. She's always rude. Kind of thinking that's your style too.

You're both rude jackasses. Now can everyone either kiss and make up or just ignore each other?

[princessvegas]

No.

I didn't talk to her any way that I wouldn't talk to anyone else here. And I have no reason to be nice to someone who comes in thinking she runs shit.

[itookashot]

You're telling them to ignore each other when you're intentionally here making it worse. Leave it alone.