to: all, with apologies to nico di angelo

[areou]

( the message is deliberately written in ancient greek. for most summoned, the network will auto-translate, but she's hoping there might be others who recognize the original text. )

WILL SOLACE COME RETRIEVE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOTH I'M NOT HIS BABYSITTER

( helpfully, she adds an illustration that no one asked for: )



( then, because nico seriously needs more friends and it's her duty as former head counselor of the ares cabin to embarrass any and all younger campers: )

↖  BTW THIS IS NICO
HE LOVES LONG WALKS THROUGH THE UNDERWORLD AND BROODING IN GRAVEYARDS
HE'S SPOKEN FOR BUT I'M SURE HE'LL BE THE AFTERLIFE OF YOUR NEXT PARTY
CHALLENGE HIM TO A GAME OF MYTHOMAGIC TODAY!!!

ALSO IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS SEEN THESE DEMIGODS CONTACT ME ASAP
LOOKS LIKE ZEUS IS SUPER FUCKING PISSED AGAIN AND WE NEED A GAMEPLAN

( more shitty doodles follow, this time vaguely resembling percy and annabeth, although this time she labels them: )



— CLARISSE LA RUE, DRAKON-SLAYER, DAUGHTER OF ARES

( she figures she may as well cover all her bases here since all of this feels like a ren faire on steroids anyway.

ooc | threadjacking is more than welcome and, frankly, encouraged. let's all go hog boar wild. 🫡 )

Comments

[princessvegas]

I care when they think it means they can talk shit. She wants to fuck around, she's bout to find out.

[ Clarisse may not know what the sudden worsening of the storm outside means, but Jesper sure as hell should. ]

Private

[itookashot]

[ He does know exactly what that means. ]

Julie, seriously. It's crazy enough around here, please don't start a grudge match with some idiot because she's rude. I know you're struggling right now but it'll just make things worse.

private

[princessvegas]

Don't talk to me like I'M the problem, Jesper. She's the one who threw down the gauntlet. Now she's got Nadine's newest charity case squawking in her ear that she could KILL me? Fuck THAT. They can both learn firsthand that they're fuckin NOBODY here. I'll snap their connections my goddamn self.

[ There is a particularly loud thunderclap from somewhere over the city. ]

private forever

[itookashot]

You're the problem in the sense that the weather doesn't need to get worse right now. And they're nobodies, for all we know she's twelve.

Do you want me to go shoot them? It'll take like three minutes. Demigod means they're half human, pretty sure a bullet in the brain still will do the trick.

[princessvegas]

[ The answer comes back almost instantly, despite the fact that she knows damn well that Jesper isn't going to go kill them for her over this. ]

Yes

[itookashot]

Okay but you have to explain to Nadine why I killed her employee.

[princessvegas]

I can live with that.

[itookashot]

I know where he is, let me see if I can find her. Maybe we can blame the storm on why they somehow got something embedded inside them.

[ He's not going to kill them and they both know that, but pretending won't hurt anyone. ]

[demigoth]

Are you in the Free Cities?

[princessvegas]

And you are...?

[demigoth]

Making sure she’s not bothered by “finding out”.

[princessvegas]

So no one. Got it.

[demigoth]

Am I? You’re the one who won’t say where you are.

[princessvegas]

And if I am?

[demigoth]

Do you want me to say “Name a time and place, bitch”?

I’m a lot nicer than Clarisse. No offense, Clarisse.

[princessvegas]

Oh, so y'all are just collectively stupid. Gotcha.

[demigoth]

I thought no one needed shit clogging their vision.

[itookashot]

Guys, seriously, stop escalating the situation. What are you all, twelve years old?

[demigoth]

Yes.

[itookashot]

Joke's on your sarcasm, I know the Free Cities wouldn't take someone that young. They're not good enough child soldiers for their needs.

[demigoth]

Okay?

[itookashot]

Just chill out.

Private

[demigoth]

You chill out. No one asked for your opinion, and if your friend had explained without cursive, maybe things would be different, but she's an idiot. Stop trying to get the last word for her.

Private

[itookashot]

Says the person who replied to me to get the last word.

[demigoth]

But I made sure that it wasn’t flooding everyone’s brains anymore. This is for an audience of me. Yours was for her. Don’t worry I won’t tell her you didn’t REALLY get the last word.