to: all, with apologies to nico di angelo

[areou]

( the message is deliberately written in ancient greek. for most summoned, the network will auto-translate, but she's hoping there might be others who recognize the original text. )

WILL SOLACE COME RETRIEVE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOTH I'M NOT HIS BABYSITTER

( helpfully, she adds an illustration that no one asked for: )



( then, because nico seriously needs more friends and it's her duty as former head counselor of the ares cabin to embarrass any and all younger campers: )

↖  BTW THIS IS NICO
HE LOVES LONG WALKS THROUGH THE UNDERWORLD AND BROODING IN GRAVEYARDS
HE'S SPOKEN FOR BUT I'M SURE HE'LL BE THE AFTERLIFE OF YOUR NEXT PARTY
CHALLENGE HIM TO A GAME OF MYTHOMAGIC TODAY!!!

ALSO IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS SEEN THESE DEMIGODS CONTACT ME ASAP
LOOKS LIKE ZEUS IS SUPER FUCKING PISSED AGAIN AND WE NEED A GAMEPLAN

( more shitty doodles follow, this time vaguely resembling percy and annabeth, although this time she labels them: )



— CLARISSE LA RUE, DRAKON-SLAYER, DAUGHTER OF ARES

( she figures she may as well cover all her bases here since all of this feels like a ren faire on steroids anyway.

ooc | threadjacking is more than welcome and, frankly, encouraged. let's all go hog boar wild. 🫡 )

Comments

ota threadjacking ok (and obviously slightly backdated)

[tedandroses]

oh my god STOP
sorry. that wasn't meant to be in the thing. I'm still figuring this out.

Seriously, though, anyone ever tell y'all not to hit reply all? I feel like I'm hallucinating in Twitter.

pretty sure Zeus isn't here either to be mad, though

[areou]

What the fuck is Twitter

( ya girl didn't even have a phone until like three months ago )

[tedandroses]

THAT’s what you got from that?

Okay. So. From the picture I’m assuming your buddy Nico isn’t a Visigoth and you’ve hit Sir Mixalot in pop culture or the bass shirt wouldn’t be funny. What year is it back home. Do you have internet and does it kick other people off a phone to use it. Does the acronym AIM mean anything.

[areou]

( none of those words are in the bible iliad )

Yeah no the internet doesn't scream anymore
Pretty sure that was the worst practical joke Hermes ever pulled off

( what year is it? don't worry about it. )

[tedandroses]

[that is a LOT of omission there kid.]
…okay… so. Imagine everyone on the internet has a …corkboard they post whatever they’re thinking on. You can only write a couple sentences. So, like sticky notes, but everyone can see it and leave their own note at the bottom until they’re long, usually increasingly insane garlands.

But, online, so to people you don’t know. Mostly.

That’s Twitter. (It has a bird logo.) People like to announce things and argue on it.

Thus. ⤴️↕️↔️ Twitter. Sparkly Twitter on the nearest surface that only we can see.

Not that I’m not accustomed to staring off into space at weird shiny colors while I’m supposed to be doing a thing but usually I’m not hearing so much banter.

[areou]

Uh ... okay
Sounds like one of those dumb phone things people keep telling me I should be on

( listen, she's still learning what social media even is. )

they reminded themself! this is thought PROBABLY UNNECESSARILY HARD at just clarisse

[tedandroses]

[hey, teddy's not the one who's going to get her on instagram. mostly. maybe when they were under 20. these days? eh. they don't miss it.]

It absolutely is, and you don't need it/whatever the version is where you are.

There are some good ones, like...just games, or music, or identifying birds by their song. Or helping find you your friend, if they, you know, get stuck in a fucking freaking[is essentially written on top of it] laurel hell because they took an inadvisable shortcut. One time. Hypothetically.

Or things that are handy, like translators or maps or, I don't know, text to speech.

But social ones are just different flavors of awful.

(and that's why you guys should think at each other instead of everyone if the conversation gets long! because no one needs everyone to see everything they're saying.
here, this one should go to just you i hope; you can try it back.)

private.

[areou]

( gods above teddy talks a lot. does percy talk this much? she feels like this is at least two percys. )

Did you just censor yourself?

( yeah, that's all she's getting out of this because the rest of it is too much. )

[tedandroses]

[ooc: the "big" does get really BIG when teddy starts talking, i'm losing that. lolsorry]

noo why would

--look, it's just, y'all are. i mean, ok. definitely an age where i used the word "fucking" (except in front of my parents). but.

i have suspended my disbelief, you know? just saying, i'm not keen on getting cursed by the god of war if he IS here and thinks i'm a bad influence on his kid

(never mind that that's probably not the first thing ANY god of war would care about)

[areou]

You think dropping an F-bomb is considered a bad influence?
You wouldn't last two seconds inside the Ares cabin with that attitude
Also, how old do you think I am? 12?

[tedandroses]

That's not an attitude, that's being respectful of someone whose house I'm technically kind of always in!

Besides, cussing isn't badass. It's just a word.

[areou]

Believe me, Ares would be more offended by the censoring
Say what you fucking want and stick to it

[sonofacesius]

What's reply all?
Did you just call us twits?

[tedandroses]

Are you not from a world with email?

No! But I’ll keep that on file. Twitter’s a. Okay. Let’s back up. DO you have the internet?

You all don’t talk like you’re ancient. Kinda figured the sign offs were either metaphorical or gods just kept doing their god thing forever. Which as far as I can tell is mostly family drama and …um. …how old are you again?

[sonofacesius]

I mean. Email exists? We have email. The world has email. I just don't have email.

It's complicated.
Okay maybe not that complicated.

If I use the internet back home, I'll get eaten by monsters. Is this an internet thing? Why are we even talking about this?

I'm 16. And no, sadly, the god thing is not metaphorical. If it was my life would be so much easier.

[tedandroses]

(Yep, they’re glad they didn’t expand on the bizarre sexual uh, tactics of what is apparently this kid’s extended family. That’s not the part that really gets Teddy though:)

EATEN. BY MONSTERS.

…Actual monsters? Why would monsters even care if you’re online?

Is this parental controls for demigods? No going on the internet unsupervised or we’re sending the Hydra?

[sonofacesius]

( yeah, be grateful you weren't part of his family, Teddy. His family was weird.)

Actual monsters. Not sure why exactly. An Athena kid once told me it has to do with the internet signals amplifying a demigod's psychic scent or something. Phones too.

I...I don't think the gods do it on purpose but. I could be really, really wrong about that. I probably am. Maybe one god thought it was hilarious and made it an april fools prank and never took it away?

[tedandroses]

Your demi-godness picks up wifi. HUH.

So can you do anything cool with it? Besides getting eaten by monsters.

I mean, that sort of vibes with everything I've heard about them. Although I don't know if your ...world has the same stories as mine? Which is a thing I'm still working on. Not any stranger, really, than "step through this magic pool, sorry about the clothes situation but don't worry, you're supposed to help save the world"

[sonofacesius]

I mean, I can heal people if that's what you mean? So, if you happen to like lose a limb or get injured and are around the Free Cities, by come the clinic. I'll fix you up.

Bring the limb.

So. Kind of?