to: all, with apologies to nico di angelo

[areou]

( the message is deliberately written in ancient greek. for most summoned, the network will auto-translate, but she's hoping there might be others who recognize the original text. )

WILL SOLACE COME RETRIEVE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOTH I'M NOT HIS BABYSITTER

( helpfully, she adds an illustration that no one asked for: )



( then, because nico seriously needs more friends and it's her duty as former head counselor of the ares cabin to embarrass any and all younger campers: )

↖  BTW THIS IS NICO
HE LOVES LONG WALKS THROUGH THE UNDERWORLD AND BROODING IN GRAVEYARDS
HE'S SPOKEN FOR BUT I'M SURE HE'LL BE THE AFTERLIFE OF YOUR NEXT PARTY
CHALLENGE HIM TO A GAME OF MYTHOMAGIC TODAY!!!

ALSO IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS SEEN THESE DEMIGODS CONTACT ME ASAP
LOOKS LIKE ZEUS IS SUPER FUCKING PISSED AGAIN AND WE NEED A GAMEPLAN

( more shitty doodles follow, this time vaguely resembling percy and annabeth, although this time she labels them: )



— CLARISSE LA RUE, DRAKON-SLAYER, DAUGHTER OF ARES

( she figures she may as well cover all her bases here since all of this feels like a ren faire on steroids anyway.

ooc | threadjacking is more than welcome and, frankly, encouraged. let's all go hog boar wild. 🫡 )

Comments

[sonofacesius]

What's reply all?
Did you just call us twits?

[tedandroses]

Are you not from a world with email?

No! But I’ll keep that on file. Twitter’s a. Okay. Let’s back up. DO you have the internet?

You all don’t talk like you’re ancient. Kinda figured the sign offs were either metaphorical or gods just kept doing their god thing forever. Which as far as I can tell is mostly family drama and …um. …how old are you again?

[sonofacesius]

I mean. Email exists? We have email. The world has email. I just don't have email.

It's complicated.
Okay maybe not that complicated.

If I use the internet back home, I'll get eaten by monsters. Is this an internet thing? Why are we even talking about this?

I'm 16. And no, sadly, the god thing is not metaphorical. If it was my life would be so much easier.

[tedandroses]

(Yep, they’re glad they didn’t expand on the bizarre sexual uh, tactics of what is apparently this kid’s extended family. That’s not the part that really gets Teddy though:)

EATEN. BY MONSTERS.

…Actual monsters? Why would monsters even care if you’re online?

Is this parental controls for demigods? No going on the internet unsupervised or we’re sending the Hydra?

[sonofacesius]

( yeah, be grateful you weren't part of his family, Teddy. His family was weird.)

Actual monsters. Not sure why exactly. An Athena kid once told me it has to do with the internet signals amplifying a demigod's psychic scent or something. Phones too.

I...I don't think the gods do it on purpose but. I could be really, really wrong about that. I probably am. Maybe one god thought it was hilarious and made it an april fools prank and never took it away?

[tedandroses]

Your demi-godness picks up wifi. HUH.

So can you do anything cool with it? Besides getting eaten by monsters.

I mean, that sort of vibes with everything I've heard about them. Although I don't know if your ...world has the same stories as mine? Which is a thing I'm still working on. Not any stranger, really, than "step through this magic pool, sorry about the clothes situation but don't worry, you're supposed to help save the world"

[sonofacesius]

I mean, I can heal people if that's what you mean? So, if you happen to like lose a limb or get injured and are around the Free Cities, by come the clinic. I'll fix you up.

Bring the limb.

So. Kind of?