to: all, with apologies to nico di angelo

[areou]

( the message is deliberately written in ancient greek. for most summoned, the network will auto-translate, but she's hoping there might be others who recognize the original text. )

WILL SOLACE COME RETRIEVE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOTH I'M NOT HIS BABYSITTER

( helpfully, she adds an illustration that no one asked for: )



( then, because nico seriously needs more friends and it's her duty as former head counselor of the ares cabin to embarrass any and all younger campers: )

↖  BTW THIS IS NICO
HE LOVES LONG WALKS THROUGH THE UNDERWORLD AND BROODING IN GRAVEYARDS
HE'S SPOKEN FOR BUT I'M SURE HE'LL BE THE AFTERLIFE OF YOUR NEXT PARTY
CHALLENGE HIM TO A GAME OF MYTHOMAGIC TODAY!!!

ALSO IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS SEEN THESE DEMIGODS CONTACT ME ASAP
LOOKS LIKE ZEUS IS SUPER FUCKING PISSED AGAIN AND WE NEED A GAMEPLAN

( more shitty doodles follow, this time vaguely resembling percy and annabeth, although this time she labels them: )



— CLARISSE LA RUE, DRAKON-SLAYER, DAUGHTER OF ARES

( she figures she may as well cover all her bases here since all of this feels like a ren faire on steroids anyway.

ooc | threadjacking is more than welcome and, frankly, encouraged. let's all go hog boar wild. 🫡 )

Comments

[areou]

Sorry, would you like me to revise my insult, Professor Chase?

( thorne. it feels like a thorn in her side, twisting beneath her ribs. from what she's heard, there's no way to get there from the free cities without a lot of trouble. and while clarisse might enjoy causing trouble, she should probably think this one through, as much as her instincts are telling her to say fuck it all. )

The rest of us are in the Free Cities
Just like home, always getting stuck with guard duty
Only now Apollo is here and thinks he knows how to be a responsible adult 🙄

[divasmio]

I am a responsible adult, thank you very much.

[areou]

( """responsible""" """adult""" )

Yeah, and I'm a pretty little princess
You're not convincing anyone, Your Royal Sunshine

( except maybe will, but he's got Dad Vision. )

[divasmio]

I'm

[ There's a pause. ]

You can think what you want. I don't blame you. The other Olympians and I were awful to you kids.

I'm going to do better. You deserve that much.

[ hey sorry for getting a little sincerity all over your shitpost clarisse, no hard feelings ]

[seaweedbrain]

Is this some kinda super belated April Fools joke?

No god I've ever met would say anything like this. You guys are mostly of the 'lets see how much we can needle you hilarious half-bloods before you pop, and ooh we hope you're filled with candy!!' type.

[divasmio]

Not a joke.

If you're still in Tartarus as far as you remember, then yeah, you're absolutely correct that the Apollo you know would never say anything like this.

But a lot of stuff is going to happen to him afterward that really puts some stuff in perspective.

[seaweedbrain]

So you're the finished product then? Mr Cares-A-Lot? You got a big rainbow heart on your chest now?

I'm not saying I don't wanna believe you but after everything that's been going on ... I guess we'll just have to see.

[divasmio]

I don't think I'll ever be a finished product, at this point. Four thousand, six hundred some odd years and there's still so much I needed to learn. And still need to learn.

But yeah, I don't blame you for being skeptical. I know what I was like.

[sophos]

What?

Are you for real? Like, did you enter a punking phase?

[demigoth]

He spent a year as a normal teenager. McCaffrey got him trained to be actually good at it.

[divasmio]

I learned some valuable life lessons and toppled a multi-billion dollar corporation.

[demigoth]

I get to tell Annabeth my way. YOU can narrate your own adventure too.

So Zeus made him the mortal servant of Meg McCaffrey. Stuff happened, maybe important, but the big deal is Apollo knows the name of every year-round camper.

[sophos]

No offense

[ maybe a little. not to nico. ]

But I find that hard to believe. Well, maybe not the Zeus part.
And I don't know any Megs.

[areou]

You don't even know the half of it

( but, no, she will not elaborate. apollo hasn't earned that trust yet. )

Why should I believe you? Because you did a stint pretending to be a real boy?

[divasmio]

Honestly? You shouldn't. Greek Gods have spent millennia making promises they don't keep. You've got no reason to take me at my word.

If you'll allow me the chance to try, at least, I hope my actions can speak for themselves.

[areou]

( ughhhhh she can practically feel what must be kicked puppy dog eyes searing into her brain. )

Fine, try all you like
We'll see if any of it matters

[sophos]

I could ask you for a thesis.

[ does clarisse even know what a thesis is?? ]

I think we're the only ones from home in Thorne.
I'm sorry, did you just say Apollo with responsible in the same sentence?

[ she is fresh out of hell with LESS fucks to give about respecting gods, sorry not sorry. ]

[areou]

( considering she read it theseus at first, yeah. she has no idea what that is. has college taught her nothing! (no.) anyway, more important matters. )

Yeah, last I heard, he was an acne-ridden teenager Zeus zapped down to earth as punishment, but I guess he restored his godhood or whatever the fuck that was all about and thinks he's gunning for Godly Parent of the Year now
I probably missed a bunch of shit, I haven't been back to camp since winter break and communication has been on the fritz
Sherman did manage to send me some pretty funny pics of "Lester" though 🤣

not here

[divasmio]

[ this is fine. THIS IS FINE. he knows he deserves this.

still hurts though

leave it to an Ares kid to say the quiet part out loud. ]

[sophos]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[ and when does THAT ever happen??? she hates not knowing what apparently EVERYONE ELSE HERE KNOWS. ]

And you're not allowed to lord that over me.

[areou]

Wouldn't dream of it, Wise Girl

( is she being sarcastic or sincere? jury's still out. )

[sophos]

Don't make me talk to Apollo about it sometime instead.

[areou]

Please, you wouldn't dare
I'm much less annoying

( hmm. debatable. )

[sophos]

I thought that's the competition you were currently trying to win.

[areou]

( gasp??? kai su teknon? )

Don't get smart with me, Miss Crafty