to: all, with apologies to nico di angelo

[areou]

( the message is deliberately written in ancient greek. for most summoned, the network will auto-translate, but she's hoping there might be others who recognize the original text. )

WILL SOLACE COME RETRIEVE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOTH I'M NOT HIS BABYSITTER

( helpfully, she adds an illustration that no one asked for: )



( then, because nico seriously needs more friends and it's her duty as former head counselor of the ares cabin to embarrass any and all younger campers: )

↖  BTW THIS IS NICO
HE LOVES LONG WALKS THROUGH THE UNDERWORLD AND BROODING IN GRAVEYARDS
HE'S SPOKEN FOR BUT I'M SURE HE'LL BE THE AFTERLIFE OF YOUR NEXT PARTY
CHALLENGE HIM TO A GAME OF MYTHOMAGIC TODAY!!!

ALSO IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS SEEN THESE DEMIGODS CONTACT ME ASAP
LOOKS LIKE ZEUS IS SUPER FUCKING PISSED AGAIN AND WE NEED A GAMEPLAN

( more shitty doodles follow, this time vaguely resembling percy and annabeth, although this time she labels them: )



— CLARISSE LA RUE, DRAKON-SLAYER, DAUGHTER OF ARES

( she figures she may as well cover all her bases here since all of this feels like a ren faire on steroids anyway.

ooc | threadjacking is more than welcome and, frankly, encouraged. let's all go hog boar wild. 🫡 )

Comments

[areou]

University of Arizona
Shocking, I know
But New York has the shittiest football teams I've ever seen and I was obviously never getting into fucking USC or Notre Dame

( see, it's fine if she's sarcastic about it. this revelation doesn't have to be a big deal. it's fine!! )

Professors ain't gonna know what hit 'em when I get back and tell them I know what a thesis is

[sophos]

You WOULD go to college for the football.

[ annabeth is not opposed to sports in concept, but it hadn't been on her mind when it came to colleges. ]

Next step is figuring out how to write one. That'll really blow their minds.

[areou]

Well, it's not like they have collegiate Capture the Flag

( intramural, maybe, but it's not the same. )

I dunno, not sure I can top the look on my Classics professor's face when I filled in my entire final in perfect Ancient Greek
What they teach in those classes is bullshit, by the way

( she thought it would be an easy A! more like an easy way to get gaslighted for a semester smh. )

[sophos]

Maybe they should.
Don't they do, like, ultimate frisbee?

Maybe you just got stuck with a shitty professor. Seems like cheating to try and take Classics though.

[areou]

I dunno, probably?
They've got flag football, but what's the point of football if you can't tackle?

It's not cheating to have a natural proficiency ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[sophos]

Maybe you can just start your own league.

How did you explain already knowing it?

[areou]

I don't think mortals are ready for the way we play Capture the Flag

I just said I "grew up with it" and let them fill in the blanks
It's funny but also fucking annoying how much shit they get wrong
Apparently "trust me bro" isn't good enough for some people

[sophos]

Start them small. It's a great outlet for frustration, I bet college kids would get into it.

Maybe you can make up book translations. Or anagram real relatives into fake ones who happen to be classics book authors.

[areou]

Or I could just keep playing football

( she's not just handing out state secrets willy-nilly. capture the flag is sacred. )

Now who's cheating?
As much as I'd love to commit academic fraud, I have a fucking life

[sophos]

Then start a tackling football league.

Chiron probably has a phd. Just make him the author of it all.

[ it's a good thing annabeth wants to do college for real because her ability to commit academic fraud is definitely there, somewhere. ]

[areou]

Source: my totally real and not made up professor Dr. Charles Brunner, PhD

[sophos]

I mean.
He IS technically real.