to: all, with apologies to nico di angelo

[areou]

( the message is deliberately written in ancient greek. for most summoned, the network will auto-translate, but she's hoping there might be others who recognize the original text. )

WILL SOLACE COME RETRIEVE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOTH I'M NOT HIS BABYSITTER

( helpfully, she adds an illustration that no one asked for: )



( then, because nico seriously needs more friends and it's her duty as former head counselor of the ares cabin to embarrass any and all younger campers: )

↖  BTW THIS IS NICO
HE LOVES LONG WALKS THROUGH THE UNDERWORLD AND BROODING IN GRAVEYARDS
HE'S SPOKEN FOR BUT I'M SURE HE'LL BE THE AFTERLIFE OF YOUR NEXT PARTY
CHALLENGE HIM TO A GAME OF MYTHOMAGIC TODAY!!!

ALSO IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS SEEN THESE DEMIGODS CONTACT ME ASAP
LOOKS LIKE ZEUS IS SUPER FUCKING PISSED AGAIN AND WE NEED A GAMEPLAN

( more shitty doodles follow, this time vaguely resembling percy and annabeth, although this time she labels them: )



— CLARISSE LA RUE, DRAKON-SLAYER, DAUGHTER OF ARES

( she figures she may as well cover all her bases here since all of this feels like a ren faire on steroids anyway.

ooc | threadjacking is more than welcome and, frankly, encouraged. let's all go hog boar wild. 🫡 )

Comments

[divasmio]

I am a responsible adult, thank you very much.

[areou]

( """responsible""" """adult""" )

Yeah, and I'm a pretty little princess
You're not convincing anyone, Your Royal Sunshine

( except maybe will, but he's got Dad Vision. )

[divasmio]

I'm

[ There's a pause. ]

You can think what you want. I don't blame you. The other Olympians and I were awful to you kids.

I'm going to do better. You deserve that much.

[ hey sorry for getting a little sincerity all over your shitpost clarisse, no hard feelings ]

[seaweedbrain]

Is this some kinda super belated April Fools joke?

No god I've ever met would say anything like this. You guys are mostly of the 'lets see how much we can needle you hilarious half-bloods before you pop, and ooh we hope you're filled with candy!!' type.

[divasmio]

Not a joke.

If you're still in Tartarus as far as you remember, then yeah, you're absolutely correct that the Apollo you know would never say anything like this.

But a lot of stuff is going to happen to him afterward that really puts some stuff in perspective.

[seaweedbrain]

So you're the finished product then? Mr Cares-A-Lot? You got a big rainbow heart on your chest now?

I'm not saying I don't wanna believe you but after everything that's been going on ... I guess we'll just have to see.

[divasmio]

I don't think I'll ever be a finished product, at this point. Four thousand, six hundred some odd years and there's still so much I needed to learn. And still need to learn.

But yeah, I don't blame you for being skeptical. I know what I was like.

[sophos]

What?

Are you for real? Like, did you enter a punking phase?

[demigoth]

He spent a year as a normal teenager. McCaffrey got him trained to be actually good at it.

[divasmio]

I learned some valuable life lessons and toppled a multi-billion dollar corporation.

[demigoth]

I get to tell Annabeth my way. YOU can narrate your own adventure too.

So Zeus made him the mortal servant of Meg McCaffrey. Stuff happened, maybe important, but the big deal is Apollo knows the name of every year-round camper.

[sophos]

No offense

[ maybe a little. not to nico. ]

But I find that hard to believe. Well, maybe not the Zeus part.
And I don't know any Megs.

[demigoth]

Why would I have any reason to lie about Apollo?

[sophos]

I didn't know you guys were besties now.

[divasmio]

Nothing brings people closer than successfully pulling off a heist together.

[demigoth]

The trogs need more hats.

[sophos]

Depends on the heist.

[divasmio]

We took down the corporation that funded both Kronos and Octavian's armies: Triumvirate Holdings.

Turns out it was being run by three Roman emperors playing a very, very long game.

[sonofacesius]

I got the privilege of teaching my dad how to brush his own teeth and use the bathroom, Annabeth. Would I lie about that?

[sophos]

Yes. If you want him to look good. You're biased.

[sonofacesius]

You think he'd look better if I lied about him turning mortal and I had to teach him what colgate is?

Annabeth, would you like to teach Athena how to brush her teeth?

[sophos]

[ oof, still a sore spot. ]

She wouldn't need me to.

[areou]

You don't even know the half of it

( but, no, she will not elaborate. apollo hasn't earned that trust yet. )

Why should I believe you? Because you did a stint pretending to be a real boy?

[divasmio]

Honestly? You shouldn't. Greek Gods have spent millennia making promises they don't keep. You've got no reason to take me at my word.

If you'll allow me the chance to try, at least, I hope my actions can speak for themselves.

[areou]

( ughhhhh she can practically feel what must be kicked puppy dog eyes searing into her brain. )

Fine, try all you like
We'll see if any of it matters