to all;

[righteously]

Alright everybody, shut up for a minute and listen. Put down your wands, your swords, and your dirty parchment magazines.

We might be in Abraxas, but tonight you're all honorary Americans. It's the Fourth of Freakin' July somewhere, and I'll be damned if we don't eat hot dogs and blow some crap up the way the good lord intended.

Today's all about freedom, beer, and Bruce Springsteen.

Our party queen her majesty Madam Julie's hosting a shindig in the Horizon. We're covering all the greatest hits. Booze, swimming pools, the Meat Man running the grill, and

of course

Big ass illegal fireworks at the end. Be there or get your tea dumped into the harbor. No taxation without representation.



Oh, by the way, unrelated question
Any of you inventor-types got a minute to cobble me together a tattoo gun? It's important.

God bless America.

( notes: Julie's party log can be found here! All of Dean's comments are public. Threadjacking is highly encouraged if whoever you're tagging is cool with it. )

Comments

[shadowthief]

So NOT a waste of tea, but an act of rebellion against merchers lining their pockets with money of the common class? I can get behind that.

[princessvegas]

Merchants and the British empire. America was originally made up of 13 colonies that were literally across the ocean from this tiny little island country that basically ruled the world, and everyone had to pay taxes to them. They kept raising the taxes, basically told the colonies to fuck off when we complained, so we scraped together a bunch of militia groups and absolutely DESTROYED the strongest military the world had ever seen, at least back then.

So hating taxes is kind of baked into our national foundation. That wasn't even the last tax riot. Protip: if your country goes to war over taxes on tea, maybe don't try to institute higher taxes on whiskey.

[shadowthief]

[Though the specifics are something she can't wrap her mind around– the British empire, America and its 13 colonies, how any of that came about– the rest she's awfully familiar with, what with Ketterdam and its merchers trying to monopolize as many avenues of trade as they could. It was the country where money ran everything, even their god was of finance.]

Sounds like quite a war. To a favorable end, I hope?

Ah. Classic politicking, isn't it, to never learn from their past mistakes.

[princessvegas]

I'd say it was pretty damn favorable. Most of the other countries they had claimed as their own followed our lead eventually.

[shadowthief]

We do love to see a terrible regime cut to its knees.

[righteously]

I didn't figure you for being a nerd

[princessvegas]

I am not. I just had the same high school classes as everyone else. Plus, like, who doesn't know that basic shit? You gonna tell me you don't know why we had the Civil War next?

I'm also REALLY good at bar trivia.

[righteously]

I wouldn't know, I dropped out of high school
But I do know plenty about war, you got me there

What kinda bar trivia are we talking? Trivial Pursuit or pop culture?

[princessvegas]

I didn't get like straight As or anything, but my mama would've kicked my ass up and down the block if I tried to drop out.

Pop culture especially, but I can do Trivial Pursuit too. Sports are my weak spot.

[righteously]

Yeah, my dad was on the total other end of that spectrum. He yanked me out of school more than I was ever in it.

Baseball, basketball, or football? There's a right answer.

[princessvegas]

I think it was like, one quarter that she cared about education, and three quarters that she was afraid of what I'd get up to if I didn't have something eating up eight hours of the day.

Personally? Football. Baseball's good if you can go in person, but boring as shit on TV. Basketball is only worth watching the last two minutes of.

[righteously]

Impressive
Two out of three wrong

Come on, you're telling me football's more entertaining than baseball? They stop the clock every ninety seconds to stand around and jerk off.

( If you couldn't tell, ya boi's a baseball fan. )

[princessvegas]

Haha, are you fucking kidding me? Baseball is like five hours of mostly just guys standing around. Half the time, they just fucking WALK between bases. Like I said, it's fine if you're actually in the stadium, you can have a good time with $15 beers, but at home? No thanks.

At least the NFL put on a good show once a year. MLB didn't even try.

[righteously]

Okay
I can't
I can't with you
You're lucky I love grill, that's all I'm saying

[princessvegas]

[ She's actually laughing out loud. This is so dumb. ]

Oh yeah? If you didn't love it, then what? Gonna make me watch baseball Clockwork Orange style?

[righteously]

If by "make" you mean graciously bequeath upon you the gift that is the joy of baseball Clockwork Orange style

Maybe

[princessvegas]

Can't you just beat me to death with a bat instead? I mean, have a heart.

[righteously]

You're getting a vegan hotdog

[princessvegas]

That's not the threat you think it is.

[ She is, after all, from the time of good plant-based protein. ]

his only answer is this face for a full minute, score — julie:1 dean:0

[righteously]

he'll never know which patties she provided are Beyond burgers

[princessvegas]