open: everyone;

[emulsions]

[ This is the first time he's really doing this shit on this mind-imposed social network, so bear with him. ]

I'm a shitty judge of timing, so maybe this isn't...a good time, but—

I've got this batch of Twinkies. If you've never seen one, it's a 4-inch traditional sponge cake with a cream filling. Vanilla only. They're as close to store-bought as you're gonna get in this place.

If you've got a hankering for processed junk from home, I'll be at the Nocwich square handing them out whenever the doors open again.

...

Okay, that's all, thank you.

(( ooc: threadjacking welcome; if you reply, you can assume your character got a twinkie. feel free to spontaneously make other food requests. ))

Comments

[emulsions]

Yeah, I'm starting to get that vibe from a lot of people.

I've got you covered, man.

[righteously]

You're a god damn hero
Seriously

[emulsions]

Just a cook, but.
Thank you?

[ Maybe he's beginning to feel for this guy. Three fucking years is a lot of years. ]

Hey, a few others, they've put in requests.
You know, if there's anything else you'd do horrible things for.
I could see about it.

But reasonable, okay, they don't have a ton of shit here.

[righteously]

( Oh, Carmy. Sweet, sweet Carmy. You know not what you have done. )

Tell me if any of this is doable:
bacon cheeseburgers
donuts
donuts ON bacon cheeseburgers
the elvis burger, which is totally different
chicken wings
jalapeño poppers
onion rings
beer battered deep-fried literally anything
french fries, tater tots, wedges, curly fries, steak fries, shoestring fries, home fries, potato chips, anything you can squeeze out of a potato and stuff with enough cholesterol to kill a full grown bull

pie
just
pie
whatever pie you're thinking of, the answer's yes.

[emulsions]

[ Starting to reflect hard on Wanda saying he opened a major fucking door. ]

Okay, hold please.

Before you keep going, describe the Elvis burger to me.

[righteously]

What, seriously? You don't know the Elvis burger?

Man, I'm about to change your life. It goes like this:

glazed donut
peanut butter
banana
bacon
cheese
burger
glazed donut

heaven.

[emulsions]

They didn't cover it at the culinary institute.

[ Heaven sounds about right. Heaven after a clogged artery. He's not judging, though. Carmy's a big believer in eat how you want except when you're in his restaurant and then you eat what's on his menu and stop asking for a hundred fucking substitutes.

Anyway. ]

Alright —

1. No jalapeños, sorry.
2. I can make everything else work.

When you pick up your Twinkie, I'll see what else I've got for you.

[righteously]

Sounds like they got some holes in their curriculum.

( some donut holes, specifically.
but he won't get hung up on that, not when there's actual good friggin news around here for a change. )

I love you. You complete me.

( -Jerry Maguire )

[divinityfrompain]

You're just making that up.

[righteously]

I'm not, I swear
Scout's honor
It's a real thing

[divinityfrompain]

How do you even get your mouth around that?

[righteously]

You'd be amazed what I can get my mouth around.

[divinityfrompain]

Rimshot.

[sunnygoose]

Holy moly, that sounds incredible! You have all of that readily available where you come from? That's a lot to go into one sandwich! Though I guess it's an American classic for a reason.

It sounds like the "king" of burgers! Not that I have anything to compare it to.

[Unfortunately, that's the extent of her ability to joke.]

[righteously]

You ain't wrong, sister. It's the king for a reason. Sure was a time to be alive on Earth.

I take it burgers weren't easy fixins back in your hometown?

[sunnygoose]

Oh, I don't think we're related. I'm pretty sure I would know if I had another brother!

Well, in my vault, our main crops were corn and tatos. We had no livestock. There was a lot of Cram, though. I've never had one before, but I've seen illustrated pictures in books! Or it might have been some sort of menu. I haven't been to what you'd call a restaurant, either.

[righteously]

No, no, it's uh
It's a figure of speech
You know, like
buddy
pal
amigo
friend
sister
that kinda thing

I'm sorry, did you say "vault"?

[sunnygoose]

O-oh, right! Like a friendly thing? Well, then thank you for explaining, "brother"!

Well, technically I wrote it quite visually with my mind, but yes. I'm from Vault 31, to be exact! Do you know about the vaults? Every time I bring them up, people seem to get very uncomfortable.

[It might be because of that whole "almost complete nuclear annihilation" thing, but when vault life is all your life has been... it's less concerning.]

[carmesi]

We know he's open to requests but isn't this a lot?
You should consider giving him something in return.

( bark bark, but also: are you okay, dean )

[righteously]

I wasn't asking for the whole list. No one man is powerful enough to down all that in one go, not even me. I just wanted to know if anything on it was doable.

I already got a few things lined up to bring him, but good lookin out.

Don't worry, ma'am. I'm not an ungrateful jackass just out here taking advantage of people, trust me.

( but also: no, he isn't, and the only thing that eases his eternal depression is deep-frying stuff. )

[carmesi]

I wasn't saying you were. I was just making sure.
Besides, that's a lot of fried food.

[righteously]

If fried food's what takes me out, I consider that a win.

[carmesi]

( what a weird thing to say. )

Is it really worth the indigestion, though?

[righteously]

Hands down, for sure, yeah.
Bonus perks of having an angel boyfriend though, dude can zap out the heartburn.

[carmesi]

( could michael do that?? )

Then you really aren't willing to put up with the consequences of eating that kind of food.

( it's cheating, dean.

whatever. )

Do they not have pie in The Cities?