to: all, with apologies to nico di angelo

[areou]

( the message is deliberately written in ancient greek. for most summoned, the network will auto-translate, but she's hoping there might be others who recognize the original text. )

WILL SOLACE COME RETRIEVE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOTH I'M NOT HIS BABYSITTER

( helpfully, she adds an illustration that no one asked for: )



( then, because nico seriously needs more friends and it's her duty as former head counselor of the ares cabin to embarrass any and all younger campers: )

↖  BTW THIS IS NICO
HE LOVES LONG WALKS THROUGH THE UNDERWORLD AND BROODING IN GRAVEYARDS
HE'S SPOKEN FOR BUT I'M SURE HE'LL BE THE AFTERLIFE OF YOUR NEXT PARTY
CHALLENGE HIM TO A GAME OF MYTHOMAGIC TODAY!!!

ALSO IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS SEEN THESE DEMIGODS CONTACT ME ASAP
LOOKS LIKE ZEUS IS SUPER FUCKING PISSED AGAIN AND WE NEED A GAMEPLAN

( more shitty doodles follow, this time vaguely resembling percy and annabeth, although this time she labels them: )



— CLARISSE LA RUE, DRAKON-SLAYER, DAUGHTER OF ARES

( she figures she may as well cover all her bases here since all of this feels like a ren faire on steroids anyway.

ooc | threadjacking is more than welcome and, frankly, encouraged. let's all go hog boar wild. 🫡 )

Comments

[divasmio]

Terribly sorry, but the nanny position's been made redundant now that they've got an adult relative here to be their legal guardian. I'm afraid I'm going to have to let you go.

qq - what name would show up for apollo's auto network signature?

[righteously]

Yeah, this is more of an independent contractor situation, but good talk pal.

Just "Apollo" :)

[divasmio]

All joking aside, I can promise you the Greek Demigods are not your concern.

perfect :)

[righteously]

Sure. Sounds good.

I met your son the other day, by the way.
He's nice. Good kid.
Seemed really worried about taking care of everyone around him.

( He did not walk away from that conversation with Great Opinions on that teenager's mental health. He will Remain Concerned. )

[divasmio]

[ Probably for the best! The more eyes looking out for his kid, the better. But at this point it still sounds like you might be threatening him. "Nice kid you got there," etc. ]

Thank you, I'm quite proud of him.

And very protective.

private;

[righteously]

Not to tell you your business, but you might wanna consider being a little more protective.

A kid his age shouldn't be running around Vampire Mardi Gras worrying himself sick about taking care of all the rando adults.

private;

[divasmio]

[ That's a lot of information to take in at once. There's a pause. ]

I'll talk to him. He's made a bad habit of prioritizing everyone else before himself.

[ Because of an absent father? Apollo pleads the fifth. ]

So to be clear, you aren't passive aggressively threatening him?

private;

[righteously]

Dude
No
He's a teenage kid
Why does everyone always assume I'm threatening them??

[divasmio]

Sorry. Greek demigods are born with targets on their backs, unfortunately.

[ And their heads, and their limbs, and... everywhere. The Norse kids don't have to deal with this shit! Not that Apollo knows that. ]

Your texts were coming across to me with a very "Nice kid you've got there, shame if something happened to him" kind of vibe.

[righteously]

Jesus Christ

I meant it, he's a nice kid. Could probably use a little therapy.
That's all.

( It struck a nerve a little too close to home, seeing Sam in him, seeing similar trauma like what they'd had left behind by John. He's a little too dad-mode himself, he can't turn it off. )

[demigoth]

Legal guardian?! My father wouldn’t agree to that.

[divasmio]

Until he shows up and personally tells me to knock it off, I'm taking responsibility for the Greek Demigods here.

Or until Chiron shows up, whichever comes first.

[demigoth]

[ Nico can’t see a way out of that one. ]

There’s no haikus, right?

[divasmio]

Maybe, maybe not.

Haikus can strike anytime.

Like an assassin.

[demigoth]

I don’t think assassins mean what you think it means.

[divasmio]

"Ninja" didn't match the meter.

[areou]

LOL OK SURE "APOLLO"

( get real!! who is this chucklehead!! she is Not Convinced. )

[divasmio]

Darn, if I'm not the real Apollo, I guess that means I don't have any embarrassing stories about your dad to share. What a shame.

[areou]

Yeah, that's called "Greek mythology"
Try harder, pal

[divasmio]

Fine. How about the swashbuckling tales of Lester Papadopoulos: Totally Normal Guy?

[ and bt swashbuckling he means getting his ass kicked a lot, but Clarisse doesn't need to know that. ]

[areou]

( and thus, the saddest flex in the history of flexing. okay, she's on board, but she's also trying not to cry from laughter. )

Oh, gods, it is you


Wait, are you still Lester? Right now?

[divasmio]

I mean, metaphorically, I'll always carry a little Lester with me wherever I go

but no

[areou]

Bummer, I was really looking forward to dunking your head in a toilet

( she leaves camp for five minutes and look what she misses out on. prime bully material. )

[divasmio]

Ha.

Maybe for your birthday, kiddo.

[areou]

I'm holding you to it, Lord Lyre