@everyone | dated to when the creatures started showing up

[thearchangel]

Hey, so - head's up. Not sure what's going on here, but if anyone sees a weird looking animal, four legs, two little arms coming out of the chest?

Watch your wallet.

I'm serious. Those things steal your credits - or whatever you're using as currency here. No clue how they do it. I mean, they're not dangerous, they're just irritating.

They're from our neck of the universe. I think humans call them "shifty-looking cows".

That's it. PSA from the milky way.

Comments

[earthborn]

...You're kidding.

[nadine_he_loves]

....

That sounds NOTHING like a cow.

[thearchangel]

Would I joke about those things?

Lost a lot of good credits.

[thearchangel]

Yeah? What do cows actually look like?

[nadine_he_loves]

You know those black and white four legged hoofed animals in my domain? With horns, they're about the size of horses...

That's a cow.

[earthborn]

I knew there was weird wildlife showing up, but this— those things? The pick-pocketing little— the space cows? That's not random, that's... asinine.

At least we know for sure the new animals are here from our home-worlds. Home-universes?

[thearchangel]

It could always be worse. We could have pyjacks. Or, you know. Thresher maws. At this point, I'll take asinine.

So at least we know if we run into anything even weirder than usual... ask around.

[thearchangel]

...




Why the hell do we call these things cows?

[earthborn]

Who's to say we don't? You don't usually see the Maw until it's biting your tank in half.

But you're right, it could be worse. It could be Klixen, or roving packs of rabid Varren or something. Still.

[earthborn]

SPACE cow. space

[thearchangel]

Wow, thanks for the reminder. I'm going to watch where I step.

Oh it can always be worse, Shepard. We should both know that by now.

[northerndragon]

Cows that steal your coin?

[He can't be seen by Garrus, but if he could, he could not look more baffled.]

[thearchangel]

Yeah.

Cows that steal your coin. No idea how they do it, or why. They're harmless, aside from that.

[northerndragon]

Cows, the beasts near as big as horses?

[thearchangel]

I... don't actually know what a horse is.

But they're about up to a human's shoulder.

[northerndragon]

Aye, that's a cow.

But they are not often met on the streets of a city, unless they are being led to market or to slaughter.

Do they steal with their teeth?

[thearchangel]

Yeah, these aren't either. They're usually out on a random planet somewhere.

No they uh. Use their hands. They've got these two extra hands coming out of their chest.

[earthborn]

Yeah, I just had to say it, didn't I? One of these days I'll learn.

But hey, maybe something'll prove me wrong. Anything can happen.

[northerndragon]

[There is a long moment before he replies.]

I've never seen a cow like that.

Horses are the beasts that men ride. Go to the stables, if you want to know. That's where they will be kept. Might be a little pony, or a palfrey, or a great destrier, but they're all horses.

[thearchangel]

Hey - it could just be varren. Not threshers.

And we'll hope all we have to worry about is creepy space cows.

[restingstitchface]

I cannot be only one who read "shifty-looking cows" as something different.

[Shitty-looking cows? Perhaps if he wasn't reading this at 1am.]

[earthborn]

Hell, while we're being optimistic, maybe that Varren from the Urdnot camp will show up.

Remember Urz? I liked that dog.

[thearchangel]

Hey, I hadn't even seen a cow before this place. Guess we're even for that?

[He was making a joke.]

Is this a thing like dogs? It's got four legs and fur it's... a dog?

[thearchangel]

What

did you read it as?

[Uh oh. Is this a translation error? Did he say something wrong here?]

[thearchangel]

Yeah I remember. You met that thing and then Mordin was checking us all for 'scale itch'.