To: All Summoned

[itookashot]

This is the most important question I've had since coming here. I need to get opinions from the rest of you, for science.

Why are all of the Summoned attractive? I have not met a single ugly Summoned and while I do love looking at your gorgeous faces, it seems unusual. Is there an attractiveness requirement? Do they take that into consideration when plucking us out of our universes? Could there be deeper reasons or do they think 'well if they don't help us out, at least they up the beauty curve of our world from a four to a seven'?

I mean, that's what I would do, but I'm interested in other thoughts. Please do not respond to this with false modesty; I know you're pretty, you know you're pretty, this is serious. Unless one of you truly thinks you are unattractive in which case show me a picture if you can and I'll tell you why you're wrong.

Comments

[frontlinetitties]

Maths never was my strong suit. I bring the beauty, someone else gets to bring the brains.

And I mean, dragon-guy sounds cool as fuck. But I know the type. Someone can be cute as all hell, but if they have a gross, bad personality you still want to kick them in the teeth.

[itookashot]

Hey, that's how I normally am! My brain guys are not here though. So I've just been doling out the beauty with no contrast.

Yeah, I was leaning toward him possibly being hot, but he had to create his own girlfriends in his domain, and that is coming off way too needy.

[frontlinetitties]

Look at it as a blessing. You know how the brain guys can be. Stick up their ass, ruining all the fun guys. This way you get to unleash the full force of your beauty upon the world.

And really? What a fake-girlfriend-having loser! You'd think a dragon-guy would be able to get a real girl or five. I should introduce him to my necro and they can talk allll about the joys of creating fake girlfriends. They already have so much in common!

[itookashot]

I like you.

You'd think he would if nothing else but the challenge of wanting to claim you've banged a dragon person, but no. Someone should explain to him that you can only have a shitty personality if you're an eleven.

Wait your necro created a fake girlfriend?

[frontlinetitties]

Clearly you're a person of taste.

Someone totally should. If I see him around I'll let him know. And yup! She's right there in the Horizon in all her icicle glory. She'd dead, by the way. That's right. My necro made herself a corpse bride, so I'd say she's even got dragon guy topped in the weirdo stakes.

[itookashot]

Yeah, I think she does have him beat, mostly because I understand making living concubines, but a skeleton? There's literally no meat to the bones to hold onto, where's the fun in that?

[frontlinetitties]

That's the weirdest part-- it's not even a skeleton! I'd kinda get it if it was a pile of bones, you know? A bone magician getting all hot and bothered over bones is nothing new. But it's some refrigerated bimbo with skin and organs and everything. So there's meat there but she'd end up with brain-freeze if she tried to make out with her. Gross.

[itookashot]

Listen I love guns and bullets but I don't get hot and bothered over --- no never mind I'm lying, I understand completely about the bones.

You would think if you're making up a person in your mind palace, you'd make them a personality too? Instead of just this random corpse lying there.

[frontlinetitties]

[That is an excellent point about the mind palace and the continued lack of a personality, but she won't be suggesting it to Harrow any time soon. The rest though...]

Oh come on, really? You're hot for bones too??

[itookashot]

No, ew, but I'm hot for guns and bullets, so. I can't be judging. I'm not saying I hump my gun, but after a gun fight, the adrenaline is a VERY nice feeling.

[frontlinetitties]

Ohhhh okay. Nah, that I kinda get. A gun is some kind of weapon from antiquity, right? Fighting a good, clean battle with a weapon is 100% times better than obsessing over dusty old bones.

[itookashot]

It's a firearm, yeah, it's a weapon that shoots metal projectiles with gunpowder, it makes a very satisfying crack as it hits people from a range. My weapon of choice, although it's expensive to get one here. Obnoxiously so. What weapon do you use if not a gun? A sword?

[frontlinetitties]

Huh. I've heard of them, but they're like, ancient museum pieces where I'm from. No one really uses them anymore. I don't know why, something to do with the thanergy bloom maybe? You get a bigger one with a sword, or something like that. Or maybe I'm just making shit up, I am not a scholar in case that wasn't immediately obvious.

And yeah, a sword. I fucking love swords.

[itookashot]

GUNS are ancient museum pieces but SWORDS are modern technology?

[frontlinetitties]

You know, now that you mention it I'm pretty sure swords are ancient too. They've definitely been used for like, thousands of years. Again though, not a scholar. Unless you count stupendous works of a titty nature.

[itookashot]

Of a titty nature?

[frontlinetitties]

Yup. I'm a connoisseur of the high art of the skin mag. I'm also something of an expert on action comics. Totally counts, right?

[itookashot]

I think I know generally what you're talking about but it isn't familiar. My expertise with the titty nature is in person.

[frontlinetitties]

Lucky you! For years the only real titties within a vast radius were so ancient you'd want to scrub your eyes with bleach if you ever caught sight of them. I suppose I could start making up for lost time now though.

[So why isn't she doing that now the opportunity is finally within her grasp? Reasons.]

[itookashot]

What! That's terrible. You didn't have any hot people where you lived? I'm heartbroken for you, I'm going to cry.

[frontlinetitties]

Finally, someone recognises the extreme misery I have been forced to endure. The tears for my misfortune are appreciated. Thanks man, you're a pal. And nah, other than me and my necromancer, everyone else was like 100 years old and more ossified than some of the actual bones. No thanks.

I guess I'm finally being recompensated by being dragged into this place with a bunch of other 11s.

[itookashot]

That is the most tragic backstory I've heard yet. Do you need a wingman? I would be honored to help you get all the titties you could ever ask for here.

[frontlinetitties]

I know, right?? What could be more tragic than one hot, horny girl forced to live amongst a bunch of skanky old nuns?

And hey, I'm game. Gotta make up for lost time!

[itookashot]

What age frame are you looking at? I already know a lot of beautiful women in the area.

[frontlinetitties]

I'm gonna arbitrarily say 18 - 30, but honestly as long as they're not a withered bag of bones or an ancient warrior in disguise as a fragile young woman, I'm good.