To: All Summoned

[itookashot]

This is the most important question I've had since coming here. I need to get opinions from the rest of you, for science.

Why are all of the Summoned attractive? I have not met a single ugly Summoned and while I do love looking at your gorgeous faces, it seems unusual. Is there an attractiveness requirement? Do they take that into consideration when plucking us out of our universes? Could there be deeper reasons or do they think 'well if they don't help us out, at least they up the beauty curve of our world from a four to a seven'?

I mean, that's what I would do, but I'm interested in other thoughts. Please do not respond to this with false modesty; I know you're pretty, you know you're pretty, this is serious. Unless one of you truly thinks you are unattractive in which case show me a picture if you can and I'll tell you why you're wrong.

Comments

[princessvegas]

We can't send pictures through this. But have you seen Four Arms McFuckFace? You look at that monstrosity and tell me it ain't a mistake that only a mother can love.

[a_better_man]

Well if you want fancy pets, you don't take the hound with mange and no teeth! You take the one with the shiny coat and clear eyes.

[itookashot]

Oh I have no idea what this thing does, I'm used to letters. Draw a portrait of yourself and pigeon it to Free Cities.

I'm sorry but did you say someone with FOUR ARMS couldn't be attractive? FOUR ARMS, Julie.

[princessvegas]

Yeah, when this whole weird brain texting thing started, we tried to send pictures and emojis, but it never works. Words only.

The four arms ain't the problem. It's everything else about him. He's like part lizard or something.

[itookashot]

Exactly why I would do it this way, but I'm shallow. Are they shallow too? I might like them better.

[itookashot]

Emojis?

A four-armed lizard person. See I hear that and think 'unique, fascinating, must meet.'

[princessvegas]

Yeah, emojis. They're these little pictures we put in text messages, back in my world and other worlds like mine. Text messages are like tiny letters that you get in real time. I can show you in the Horizon, it's hard to explain like this.

Maybe, but this specific four-armed lizard person is a real piece of shit and ugly as fuck. Everyone else though, A+ beauty standards.

anonymous; to: everyone

[endcaller]

[The overly flowery cursive of the anonymous story teller appears. At least this time it doesn't come in spaced out clumps of text.]

Thank you for complimenting my prison of flesh.

[itookashot]

[ Oh he recognizes that! ]

Happy to, Emperor Reeks. I'm just speaking the truth.

[itookashot]

That sounds like something I would love, I definitely want to see them.

Oh people who can't show me how pretty you are, find me in the Horizon, that way I can see you. Better than a portrait.

I trust your assessment. Modification to my statement: The one exception is four-armed lizard person with a shitty personality.

anonymous; to: everyone

[endcaller]

Unfortunately my beauty is fleeting, as is everyone's.

Eventually flesh will die.

....It reminds me of a story...

[princessvegas]

NO

[a_better_man]

Thorne does seem to like pretty things....

Not that I am complaining, as I quite enjoy the views.

[supersoldier]

[The text muddies up his vision during an extended training session at the barracks, and he'd be more forgiving of this if the subject matter in question wasn’t so superfluous. The reply comes delayed; Sephiroth’s mental handwriting is straight-lined and boldly legible.]

When are you coming to train?

[ignores the whole point of this post]

[techmaturgy]

Correlation is not causation. I'm willing to bet that your sample size is too small.

[itookashot]

That's why I'm putting it out to everyone. I have already been told there's one ugly person I didn't know about! Added to my research group.

[itookashot]

Beauty is beauty because it's fleeting. If it lasted it wouldn't be so special.

Also feel free to tell ME a story, but don't put everyone else through it.

[itookashot]

The people here are on the whole average, that's why I would say the medium for Free Cities is about a four. Maybe a five, it's not their fault they don't have access to prettier clothes. There's so many Summoned here and I swear you can tell right away because of their faces.

[endcaller]

But my stories deserve to be heard by the masses.

They are good stories.

[itookashot]

[ He's a little disappointed this pretty boy didn't reply to that but WHATEVER. ]

Are you still at the barracks?

[supersoldier]

[What is he going to add to this discussion? He is not invested in any facet of science, thank you very much, even if it is for the sake of gauging hotness amongst the Summoned.]

Yes.

If you’re frustrated, you can vent it this way.

[A blunt call-out. He remembers all your flirting, sir.]

[funbreaker]

[ While Thancred has done some experimenting with this communication system in a more direct way by exchanging messages with Himeka, this is the first time that a missive that has apparently been sent to all of them has caught his interest. (That drivel from some anonymous person who clearly only wanted to get a rise out of people, he ignored.)

This, however, seems like something well worth discussing. Thancred will not argue he isn't pretty, and Jesper (yes, the one from the baths, this all checks out) makes a point. ]

You make a compelling argument. I worked with a rather attractive group of people back home as well, so I will admit that it didn't stand out to me until you brought it up.

I suppose if you're going to go to the effort of summoning a group of people from across the universe, they may as well be easy on the eyes.

[techmaturgy]

Also, attractiveness is subjective. What are your criteria?

[itookashot]

If you keep doing it and people find out who you are, you're going to get stabbed. Just tell the stories to people who like it, mate. Like me. Tell me your stories. What's your hair and eye color and height? How sharp are your features? For science.

[itookashot]

Aesthetic attractiveness is objective, anyone can look at someone with perfect features and go 'obviously this person is gorgeous.' I suppose the subjective part is someone has more unique features, such as yourself. But your cheekbones, man, also your eyes. Top notch.

Anyway I think anyone can tell the difference between beautiful and ugly if they're hoenst with themselves.