to: all, with apologies to nico di angelo

[areou]

( the message is deliberately written in ancient greek. for most summoned, the network will auto-translate, but she's hoping there might be others who recognize the original text. )

WILL SOLACE COME RETRIEVE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOTH I'M NOT HIS BABYSITTER

( helpfully, she adds an illustration that no one asked for: )



( then, because nico seriously needs more friends and it's her duty as former head counselor of the ares cabin to embarrass any and all younger campers: )

↖  BTW THIS IS NICO
HE LOVES LONG WALKS THROUGH THE UNDERWORLD AND BROODING IN GRAVEYARDS
HE'S SPOKEN FOR BUT I'M SURE HE'LL BE THE AFTERLIFE OF YOUR NEXT PARTY
CHALLENGE HIM TO A GAME OF MYTHOMAGIC TODAY!!!

ALSO IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS SEEN THESE DEMIGODS CONTACT ME ASAP
LOOKS LIKE ZEUS IS SUPER FUCKING PISSED AGAIN AND WE NEED A GAMEPLAN

( more shitty doodles follow, this time vaguely resembling percy and annabeth, although this time she labels them: )



— CLARISSE LA RUE, DRAKON-SLAYER, DAUGHTER OF ARES

( she figures she may as well cover all her bases here since all of this feels like a ren faire on steroids anyway.

ooc | threadjacking is more than welcome and, frankly, encouraged. let's all go hog boar wild. 🫡 )

Comments

[demigoth]

How exactly did you not shank him?

Don’t worry. I’m not Zeus’ kid.

[righteously]

It's a long story, and probably not one I should be spilling in front of everybody and their brother.

When you say kid
How old are you?

[demigoth]

They don't HAVE to read it.

Almost 16. Why?

[righteously]

Jesus Christ, are ALL of you teenagers?!

[demigoth]

I'm doing my best to live to see 18. Who asks questions like that?

[righteously]

A concerned citizen that's used to seeing demigods between the ages of 25 and 900.

[demigoth]

I live at a summer camp. Not a lot of adults.

[righteously]

Aren't summer camps supposed to have like... staff and chaperones and stuff?

Also, who just LIVES at camp??

[demigoth]

That would be Chiron and Dionysus. But we outnumber them by the dozens, so they have harpies to enforce curfew and stuff.

Most of the campers go home for the school years. There’s less than two dozen of us year round.

[righteously]

Two adults does not sound like enough adults. I think I'm starting to get the picture here and it ain't a pretty one.

[demigoth]

Two adults is fine. Everyone’s fed and clothed and trained. The camp makes a lot of money from the strawberry fields. I don’t see the big deal.

[righteously]

I don't know how to explain this in a way that's not gonna sound like some random douchebag commenting on your life, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut other than to say: somebody dropped the ball, and it wasn't you kids. That's all.

[demigoth]

You don’t know what you’re talking about. Camp’s a lot better than the other options.

[righteously]

Just because something's the least crappy option doesn't make it not crappy.

[demigoth]

Nobody asked you if you thought my life was crappy. It’s not.

[areou]

It's not safe for us in the mortal world
Monsters can and will find us as soon as we step foot outside the magical border that protects camp
And they're always hungry
For a lot of us, there's no other choice but to stay year round and train

[righteously]

This monster problem, is that gonna be a thing here? Are you guys monster bait everywhere, or just back in the homeland? Have you tried stepping out of the city or the barracks to test it yet?

And just- for the record, before you say anything, I'm not trying to be a rando stranger getting all up in your business.
Hunting monsters is my actual job, like, for money. It's relevant. If this is gonna be a thing, I'm gonna have to prep for it.

[areou]

Oh, it's still a problem, and with a Hades kid? Gonna be even worse
But you should see the other guys

( by the other guys she means the giant hyena things she got ambushed by when she stepped two feet into the badlands that nearly bit her leg off. definitely still monster bait. )

Not sure how it affects mortals here, though
Back home monsters just ignore them
There's this whole thing called The Mist... I don't think it exists here

[righteously]

Great.
I take it you know how to fight, how about the rest of your friends?

The monsters here don't differentiate. If they're sniffing around for you, they're gonna be a problem for everyone, probably. The further you venture into the desert, the bigger they get. Do me a favor and don't go out there alone, okay, we're talking carnivore worms big enough to eat houses. It's nothing to screw around with if you're not familiar with them.

Tell me about The Mist.

[areou]

First of all, daughter of Ares, I was born to fight
Second, that's what camp is for: How Not To Become Monster Chow (Weapons Included!)

Anyway we've fought two wars with Titans and Giants and every other nasty motherfucker they dredged out of Tartarus, I think we can handle a few giant worms

The Mist keeps mortals from losing their marbles, basically
They don't see things the way we do
Oh, that Hydra over there? Nah, that's just a bunch of weird inflatable guys tangled together
If the Mist is strong enough, sometimes it can fool us, too
Monsters love to disguise themselves as math teachers

[righteously]

Look
I get it
You wanna prove yourself, that's great and all, but it's not just your own survival you need to worry about here, it's what you might attract back to the city, too. I'm just saying it doesn't hurt to be smart about it, and get some experience with what's out there before somebody gets hurt.

Jesus.
Yeah, no mist here. Monsters just look like monsters, and they like to eat mortals just as much as any other species.

[seaweedbrain]

You get paid for hunting monsters? That's an actual thing?

Man, all we get for doing it is knowing we survived another day. Maybe the occasional, 'good job on not dying yet but maybe next time' closing remark.

Who's paying you?

[cointosser]

Not to butt in, but there are plenty of spheres where monster hunting is a very lucrative business. Especially if you have the correct talented bard to sing tales of one's monster hunting exploits and ensure further employment.

A sad thing which Dean lacks, but maybe he'll find the right one some day.

Unfortunately, a majority do simply spend their time attempting to survive... which is why the paid hunter exists. There is a grand market for paying another to deal with the problems that plague your farm/city/kingdom. There is a similar market in this world, but the factions are known to be quite stingy with their payments.

[seaweedbrain]

Well now I'm jealous, because no one's even offered to pay for what we do for free. Except, uh, I guess to keep being alive.

But what you're saying, does that mean we've all gotta find jobs?

[ Admittedly, he didn't even think of it. Holed up in this fancy castle, he missed the memo on anything related to employment. ]

It makes sense, I guess, but I always thought my first ever job would be something like serving ice cream and burgers at the local Dairy Queen's, which at this point is almost a rite of passage.

[cointosser]

Hah! Does the satisfaction of paid work elude you? I suppose if you like baubles, wine, or good food, I would certainly suggest it. Or perhaps find a rich patron who is willing to invest in your art, if you can create it.

If you're in the Cities. I know Thorne provides one the amenities, if you don't mind the murderous monarchy. I suppose all such juicy deals come with their fringes. Solvunn will possibly pay you for spicy-looking wreaths, or something.

It sounds like you may be used to monarchies, though I don't think a queen of dairy has much to offer one besides a lot of milk. Odd.