to: everyone

[wolfssegen]

[Posted on July 8, nighttime.]

Just a thought, considering our recent guests - what's your opinion on vampires and werewolves? Do you have them where you come from or are they just in stories? Monsters? Misunderstood? Just another type of creature?

Comments

[earthborn]

I've met... sort of vampires before, and I was apparently the only one who hadn't heard of them. But I draw a line at werewolves.

I'm tired of weird shit happening. That's enough of that.

[wolfssegen]

Why vampires but not werewolves? Any reason in particular?

Makes sense, but depends on your definition of weird, I guess.

[earthborn]

Because once something tries to sexily kill you, it's a whole mission report, with the paperwork and a conversation about "cultural sensitivity" with a Justicar, and therefore much harder to ignore.

Otherwise, I'd prefer to maintain my current level of supernatural bullshit rather than escalate. I've had a tiring couple of years.

[wolfssegen]

Right, so you'd be in denial about vampires too if you could. Suppose I can understand that. Or at least make sense of it.

Oh yeah? What happened?

[earthborn]

She'd killed a bunch of people, which wasn't my business, but a friend asked me to help catch her, so it turned into my business.

I was informed that the best way to do this was to use myself as bait. I am, apparently, irresistible to sexy vampire women, skulking around nightclubs, looking for a target. According to the experts. She was pretty hot though; I can see how it'd be hard to say "no" when she asked you to come back to her apartment with her.

But that worked out fine. She's dead, I'm not, that's the whole story.

[wolfssegen]

Sounds dangerous. What kind of line of work puts you in that kind of dangerous?

Does sound sufficiently vampiric though. I hear they're pretty seductive.

[earthborn]

Well she did sit me down and try to make a sexy argument for why I should just lie back and let her murder me. I wasn't about to actually do it, as weirdly compelling as she made it sound, but it was actually a pretty relaxing day on the job, as things usually go for me. It's not often I get to drink on the job.

I'm a SPECTRE. Special Tactics and Reconnaissance. Basically, I'm the one-woman army the Council sends in when they can't make a public stink, but they need something done regardless.

But the whole... vampire thing was adjacent. I do favors for my friends, sometimes; it usually pays off in the long run.

oh god I typoed so bad in my last tag

[wolfssegen]

Okay, someone making your own murder sound compelling, that's pretty talented. Or did she have mind control or something? Then again, if I had to pick any way to go...sexy murder might be the ticket.

The Council? Guessing that's some form of government. So super special secret ops? You must be pretty damn talented yourself.

Doing favours for friends usually does pay off. At least in my experience.

[mulan meme voice] Now all of China knows you can't type.

[earthborn]

I'm told its highly technical neuological... It's been explained a few times, but I stopped listening. Asari are weird, and Ardat-Yakshi are weirder, that's the jist.

Point is, none of it really works on me; something about having a forceful will. I don't really know how it works, to be honest. You'd think that wouldn't matter.

But yeah, you could say I'm talented. I earned my place.

dishonor on me, dishonor on my cow...

[wolfssegen]

Asari and Ardat-Yakshi, I'm guessing those are the actual names of the vampire creatures? Are they...aliens or something?

Forceful will. I bet I'd have one of those myself. It's impossible to tell me anything.

Nice to meet you. What's your name? I'm Ches.

[righteously]

Depends on what they eat.

lmao i saw that

[earthborn]

That's right. I left Earth as soon as I could, and the only reason I ever go back is on official orders.

Shepard. Likewise.

this is what I get for sneaky tagging at work

[wolfssegen]

Really? I don't know if I'd ever leave Earth if I had the chance. Then again, I've lived my whole life on the same farm, so I'm not the adventurous type, at least not when it comes to travel.

And my world doesn't have a lot of space travel.

[ordinar]

They're just stories where I'm from. I didn't think I had to form a serious opinion about them.

[For now, he's deliberately overlooking the fact that, if there was any grain of truth in those fucked up nightmares, Ches is possibly a werewolf.]

[wolfssegen]

I'm gonna be obtuse and ask what happens when they eat people vs. when they don't.

[wolfssegen]

No one has to form a serious opinion about them. I was just curious.

Just stories though, hm?

[It's interesting that the kid is overlooking that particular fact - he's one of the few who have any inkling what Ches really is.]

[stations]

There's kind of a spectrum, in terms of media.

Awesome:
Dracula
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
Van Helsing
Blade
The Wolfman
Wolfcop
Count Chocula

Embarrassing:
Twilight
Harry Potter
Teen Wolf
The Vampire Diaries

Get over yourself:
Interview with a Vampire


In reality? Pretty much just one category:
Tried to eat me, no thank you.

[righteously]

If they're killing people, they're monsters.
If they're not hurting anybody, mind your own damn business.

[wolfssegen]

Sounds about like my opinion on them.

So I take it they're a real thing where you're from?

[wolfssegen]

Your grasp of pop culture is impeccable.

What if one didn't try to eat you? Better outcome?

[righteously]

Yep. Those and just about anything else you've ever heard of.

You?

[ordinar]

[Look, he doesn't know how these magic mind messages work, and it's definitely not a topic that should be dragged up where anyone could see it.]

I mean...as far as I know, I guess.

Werewolves are cooler, for the record.

[wolfssegen]

About the same. Just about anything you can think of, and they're real, but they're generally in hiding. Hunters, you know?

[stations]

Yeah, that one's totally cool.

Why are you asking?

Not that part. I mean the big question, in general, to everybody?

[wolfssegen]

[And that is much, much appreciated. He's already pushing it with this entry topic anyway.]

In my world, they were real but people didn't think of them as anything but stories until a vampire got caught in Central Park attacking joggers. Whole thing was a mess.

And you know what? I agree with you. Always been a bigger fan of werewolves.