open: everyone;

[emulsions]

[ This is the first time he's really doing this shit on this mind-imposed social network, so bear with him. ]

I'm a shitty judge of timing, so maybe this isn't...a good time, but—

I've got this batch of Twinkies. If you've never seen one, it's a 4-inch traditional sponge cake with a cream filling. Vanilla only. They're as close to store-bought as you're gonna get in this place.

If you've got a hankering for processed junk from home, I'll be at the Nocwich square handing them out whenever the doors open again.

...

Okay, that's all, thank you.

(( ooc: threadjacking welcome; if you reply, you can assume your character got a twinkie. feel free to spontaneously make other food requests. ))

Comments

[punctually]

[ hELLO ]

can i take the whole batch

[emulsions]

[ How'd he know you were gonna be the first one here. ]

No go, Pete. Sorry.
Give me, like, another week, I'll make you a personal batch.

[punctually]

[ he's predictable like that. but also, whatever disappointment he may have felt from being denied a whole batch of twinkies immediately disappears, because— ]

a personal batch?
i think i'm gonna cry

but no, like. how's the ingredient situation over there because if it's a lotta trouble it's cool you've already made my whole year
actually how did you even make the first batch anyway

[satanicpanics]

holy shit
yes ???
i swear, dude, you're heaven-sent or something
you just answered a prayer i've been putting out for two years

can you do cereal
like the really shitty kind

[emulsions]

[ Please don't cry, people who cry in front of him give him massive anxiety. ]

I promise, it's not a big deal.

It's just a sponge cake filled with shortening.
But, um, they haven't got shortening here so I used lard.
Hardest part was finding something to make the mold out of.

[ Aluminum foil hasn't been invented yet. ]

[emulsions]

[ Guess the snack situation's pretty dire around here. ]

You're gonna have to be more specific, man.

[punctually]

carmy buddy you don't understand
i've been living off whole-grains for the past like three months i'm dying out here

so did you have to like
forge a mold
with metal and stuff

[infiniteban]

Oh man I'd fucking love a Twinkie! I'd even give up what little gold I have for some, but how's about trade? You want a little something-something extra? First real test of my version Abraxas weenut butter.

Okay well it's not weed it's some wackadoodle herbs from the commune and it's not peanut butter it's some shmancy smooth ass hazelnut butter.

But point is it should still get the trick done.





Probably.

[emulsions]

No, trust me, I understand.
I haven't had a fucking Coke in months.

[ He's gone from a Coke every shift to a complete absence of carbonated beverages. ]

What? No, it's.
They're clay molds.

[thoughts]

[ !!! ]

an ancient relic from earth-that-was. it's too bad the pizza man isn't here anymore, this would probably make him very happy.

[emulsions]

Okay, please don't take this the wrong way, but
I'm not gonna ask you what the hell happened to the earth.
I don't think I'm ready for that.

But, uh, tell me more about the pizza man?

[punctually]

okay but what if i made you a coke
let me make you a coke in return for the twinkies

ohhhhh
that makes more sense than what i was thinking

[satanicpanics]

[ It's terrible. You have no idea... ]

you know
pure sugar
turns the milk unnatural colors
you're probably always one bowl away from a clogged artery??
that kind

[emulsions]

Oh, okay, so.
Like fruit loops?

[ushiri]

Could you make the cheap kind of nachos and "cheese".

[thoughts]

next time there's a campfire, i'll have a good ghost story for you

[ :) ]

his name was dante. he wanted to spread the good word of the 'za to the masses. his proselytizing didn't really make it beyond the castle town though.

[nomnoms]

NOM NOMS OK
:)

[ HE COMING FOR THOSE NOM NOMS NEXT MONTH ]

[emulsions]

[ If he hasn't seen Jerry's scrawl before and/or if this magic handwriting thing didn't come with a signature, he'd swear he was talking to Jerry. This is not Jerry, though.

Shit, there's two of them? ]

You know what, don't sweat it, there's no cost.

[ ...

His curiosity's getting the better of him and he'll regret asking. ]

Do I wanna know why you're putting weed in hazelnut butter?

[emulsions]

I'm actually afraid to ask how you plan on doing that.

[satanicpanics]

what?
fruit loops??
NO
no way
WAY too healthy, dude.
i'm thinking more in the vein of cocoa puffs, honey smacks, you know
actual cereal

[emulsions]

Ominous, but, uh, thank you?

[ ;;;

—Hang on a sec, though. Give him, like, two minutes to crack open this gigantic ledger before he gets back to the topic. ]

Wait, is that, is this the same asshole who started a failed wagon business, then left the kitchen with the debt when he disappeared?

[ She doesn't have to answer, Carmy's sort of vaguely aware that there's a high chance River doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about, but look, this thing's been bothering him ever since he started looking through the financial stuff. Which he's not great at, but he can figure out when something's in the red. ]

[emulsions]

[ ... ]

You know there's not
there's not actually fruit in the fruit loops, right?

[ Never mind. ]

I'll see what I can do, but
no promises, alright?

[monomachy]

I would be interested in trying one of these Twinkies. I've never heard of such a thing.

[tedandroses]

I think Not The Time is the best time to offer junk food, personally, definitely save me one.

[They’re not that crazy about Twinkies at home really, but without having had the option? Hell yeah. Plus home made is undoubtedly better.]

You don’t, uh, have any familiarity with the art of the fried (hand)pie, do you? Or pepperoni rolls?

[punctually]

ouch
but fair
look i'll ask wanda to help me it'll be fine