ꜰᴀɴᴅᴀɴɪᴇʟ (
endcaller) wrote in
abraxasnet2022-03-09 05:47 pm
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To: Everyone; From: Anonymous
[At first Fandaniel wasn't sure what to make of the text that sometimes swam into his vision. Since his arrival he's learned about the supposed connection the Summoned have to the Singularity and has decided that this strange way of communicating must be based on this connection.
He isn't sure what exactly this system is or how it works but he decides to test it anyway. What scientist could resist?
His message to the other Summoned is meant entirely to test this communication method and satisfy his curiosity. He is not just trying to entertain himself at someone else's expense, surely not...
The following bits of text are in excessively flowery cursive that appears every few minutes over the course of more than an hour. The disjointedness is meant to be purposefully irritating.
With focus, he disguises his identity, making himself anonymous.]
Nobody every listens to me.
Nobody ever notices me.
Everywhere I go I am ignored.
It is hardly fair.
I am, after all, the greatest story teller among my people. Did you know that? Of course not.
Here is a story.
This is the story of an enchanted kingdom, ruled by a wise and powerful emperor.
He commanded a vast empire and the most powerful military in the world but do you know what he valued most?
No, not coin, not land, but flowers. He acquired flowers from every conquered nation and brought them back to his gardens.
But there was one flower he did not have. It was a Reekblossom, a blossoming weed that smelled of sewage but was highly valuable due to its rarity.
It thrived only on a mountain in the one bit of land this emperor did not command. The nation that held the mountain could not match his military might but did have itself surrounded by a magical barrier maintained by the power of its tutelary deities.
How could he pierce it? Of course you know the answer... he could not.
So he conquered the entire rest of the world and then what did he do? Did he sit in satisfaction upon his throne?
No, that was not his nature.
That flower still haunted him. Finally, he decided he would turn his army upon the barrier.
For a thousand years his weapons pummeled the shield, then, at last, they pierced it!
His army invaded the land, and he was finally able to obtain the Reekblossom.
Overjoyed to have the last flower he needed for his garden, the emperor returned to his palace and planted it in the--
Hey!
You're ignoring me, aren't you?
Every time.
He isn't sure what exactly this system is or how it works but he decides to test it anyway. What scientist could resist?
His message to the other Summoned is meant entirely to test this communication method and satisfy his curiosity. He is not just trying to entertain himself at someone else's expense, surely not...
The following bits of text are in excessively flowery cursive that appears every few minutes over the course of more than an hour. The disjointedness is meant to be purposefully irritating.
With focus, he disguises his identity, making himself anonymous.]
Nobody every listens to me.
Nobody ever notices me.
Everywhere I go I am ignored.
It is hardly fair.
I am, after all, the greatest story teller among my people. Did you know that? Of course not.
Here is a story.
This is the story of an enchanted kingdom, ruled by a wise and powerful emperor.
He commanded a vast empire and the most powerful military in the world but do you know what he valued most?
No, not coin, not land, but flowers. He acquired flowers from every conquered nation and brought them back to his gardens.
But there was one flower he did not have. It was a Reekblossom, a blossoming weed that smelled of sewage but was highly valuable due to its rarity.
It thrived only on a mountain in the one bit of land this emperor did not command. The nation that held the mountain could not match his military might but did have itself surrounded by a magical barrier maintained by the power of its tutelary deities.
How could he pierce it? Of course you know the answer... he could not.
So he conquered the entire rest of the world and then what did he do? Did he sit in satisfaction upon his throne?
No, that was not his nature.
That flower still haunted him. Finally, he decided he would turn his army upon the barrier.
For a thousand years his weapons pummeled the shield, then, at last, they pierced it!
His army invaded the land, and he was finally able to obtain the Reekblossom.
Overjoyed to have the last flower he needed for his garden, the emperor returned to his palace and planted it in the--
Hey!
You're ignoring me, aren't you?
Every time.
anonymous
[Most of the slang may have passed straight over his head.]
no subject
I'm talking about hot women. You know, adult women who have no business being that hot and all their clothes just kinda fall off in some kind of freak accident. But maybe it is freezing and so they decide to get down and dirty in the flowers. You know. To warm up.
Or I guess it could be hot guys if that's more your thing.
anonymous
A bawdy tale would also garner attention but the Reekblossom is no such tale. If you wish to hear about naked beauties in a garden of flowers I am sure the local tavern will satisfy?
no subject
But you know, that's where you're going wrong. If you threw in some gratuitous nudity people would be waaay more inclined to listen to your tale. You kinda had something there with the attack on that enchanted kingdom, but that could have done with being played up a bit. Like, throw some swordfights in there, maybe a gigantic construct or two. People wanna read about guts and glory and you're skipping over the good bits!
[#helping]
anonymous
Have you heard the one about the weapon built to slay gods?
no subject
Let's hear it.