to: everyone

[righteously]

testing 1 2 3
can you hear me now?
good

I'm looking for somebody who knows how to handle a sword
preferably somebody better than the mooks in the training yard
for teaching purposes, just to be clear, not mercenary work
I'll pay if I gotta, money or favors

alternatively, anyone who knows how to get a friggin gun
doesn't seem like they're just handing those out at the barracks
six-shooter, lever-action, doesn't matter, I'll take whatever I can get my hands on

Comments

[princessvegas]

They ain't got real guns here yet. Just weird old guns. Flintlocks and fuckin' blunderbusses or whatever. Besides, they got magic, so it's not like they need guns that much.

You just wanna shoot, you can do that in the Horizon, though. It's not the same, but it's something.

- Julie Lawry

[righteously]

Yeah, I've seen a few things around that look early 1900s. I'll take what I can get.

It ain't exactly the weird magic dream heaven I'm worried about needing a gun for.

[princessvegas]

You any good with a bow? They got plenty of those. Or, like I said, they got magic you can learn. I can kinda make a ball of fire and throw it now. It's not a shotgun but it's pretty fun.

[righteously]

Got my hands on a crossbow, but it just ain't the same, you know? I don't know if that magic stuff is possible for me. Magic's never really been my thing.

[princessvegas]

I'd stick with the crossbow over a sword, honestly. Less chance of loppin' your own hand off. Anyway, I didn't think I could do magic until I got here. My world didn't even have magic.

Wait, did you figure out your Horizon power yet? It could be something you can use as a weapon.

[righteously]

I like to be kind of a jack of all trades when it comes to killing stuff and not dying.

My who what now?

[princessvegas]

Yeah. Projectile weapon, magic, dagger if they get too close. Sword ain't a cure-all.

You been to the Horizon, right? Everyone, or at least most folks, come out with something new. Some people get dumb shit like horns or useless spells like throwing confetti in the air, but some people get something they can actually use.

[righteously]

Good on the daggers, too. I pretty much got everything but the sword part down pat already. They didn't exactly have those where I'm from. Closest regular thing was probably a machete, and I'm not so sure my machete skills will work in a sword fight if it comes down to that.

No horns or confetti over here. Tried conjuring up a fireball just now and I'm pretty sure I just looked like I was summoning constipation. Unless you got any secret tricks to make something happen, I might just be SOL.

[princessvegas]

Might work if you're gonna fight some kudzu, but just hacking at shit ain't much to build on. I only know two people who know how to use a sword, and I don't know if they wanna teach it to more people than they already are. You can probably find some native givin' classes though.

I had to practice to make fireballs. The first time I tried it, I made the fireplace blast out flames. The only thing you'll be able to do without a lot of practice is whatever you got from the Horizon. I only figured mine out by accident. But once you know what it is, it'll be completely natural for you, like you always had it.

One thing I been noticin' is that it always seems to be something... kind of related to us? Like it's not exactly random, if that makes sense. So maybe try some stuff that's normal to you.

[righteously]

My machete experience is less plant-y and more monster-y. Think I got a lead on at least one person, though, we'll see how that pans out.

Thanks for the pointer. Sounds like it's gonna be one of those things that shows up in the middle of crap going down, knowing my luck. If it shows up at all.

[princessvegas]

Jesus H. Christ, how many monster fighters are they gonna bring here? I'm starting to feel like my world got seriously gypped on the monster front.

Probably. I had mine for weeks before I actually learned about it. Try getting someone to knock over something you don't wanna clean up, maybe you'll be able to catch it from across the room.

[righteously]

Trust me, sister, you're better off without. Unless you got a thing for being eaten. No judgements here.





Spilled my beer, guess that one's off the table.
Literally.

[princessvegas]

Promise we'd have been better off with monsters than what we got. Higher chance of survival for sure.

I don't know how to force it to show up. All I know is that one day, I caught some drunk's mug from thirty feet away and ever since, I've had an extra hand.

[righteously]

Why, what's the deal with your place?

Wait, so you're just
what
psychic now?
Or whatever the other thing's called.

[princessvegas]

Back home, the army made a plague and it got out. Real nasty one. Like pneumonia but worse. Killed almost everyone in the whole world. Like over 99%. Animals too.

Anyway, not exactly. It ain't like that, really. It's just... like I have a third hand, except it's invisible and can reach stuff further than my real arms. Mostly I just use it to help fold laundry and to stick the drunks downstairs with a pin when they get handsy.

Oh, I work in a tavern.

[righteously]

What the fresh hell
Are you SERIOUS?
Jesus Christ, lady, your world blows
I mean it, that's some I Am Legend crap, except worse because Will Smith probably kicked it
Holy crap, bet you're stoked to be here, huh?

[princessvegas]

[ Yes, thank you, guy, for pointing out this brand new information. Her world is shitty, she and the others are well aware of it. It was shitty before the superflu, it was shittier afterward, and it was shittiest when she was exploded by a ball of lightning that floated down from the heavens. ]

It ain't exactly my first choice of worlds. I didn't like renaissance fairs before, and I'm not real big on living this way forever, but it's not like I could go back even if I wanted to. Besides, the only other people left back home now fucking SUCK.

[righteously]

( Yep, sorry, this is who he is as a person. Tactless a solid 87% of the time. )

I'm picturing like a Mad Max post-apocalyptic everyone's in it for themselves making armor out of trash can lids situation. Is that close?

[princessvegas]

Not exactly. It ain't like it stopped raining or whatever, it didn't change every single thing that already existed. No trash can armor, but there was a gas shortage for sure. But yeah, everyone in it for themselves, mostly. Once you got to the cities, it was a little different, more like a real society.

But you had to get to 'em before that could happen. I walked about a thousand miles.

[righteously]

Why is it always with the gas shortages at the end of days

So would you say you were making your way downtown, walking fast?

( Is making a Vanessa Carlton joke too unsympathetic? Man, he really needs to de-purgatory his empathy levels. )

[princessvegas]

Gas shortages happened before Trips too. But after, there was no one to bring the oil from wherever. Who do you think was left to drill or sail tankers?

[ It's incredibly unsympathetic, but Julie is not a very sympathetic person either. She's also extremely pop culture aware. ]

That's what you go with? Coulda asked if I was the girl who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door. Da-da-da-da.

[righteously]

Touche, you got me there, Milla Jovovich

Excuse me for keeping the proclaimers at five hundred miles, I like to stick with the song titles for authenticity. I don't have to justify my choices to you.

Seriously, sorry about your planet, though. That's a crap deal.

[princessvegas]

We're talking though brain iChat. I don't know that authenticity is exactly important anymore.

Yeah, well. I figure pretty much all worlds are shitty, from what everyone says. Once you get past the whole end-of-civilization thing, it wasn't that bad. Last few months before I got here were the best of my whole life.

[righteously]

Some things have to stay sacred, alright. Gotta draw the line somewhere.

I don't know whether to congratulate you or apologize again. Apogulations. Believe it or not, I can kinda relate.

[princessvegas]

The line can't be drawn around anything from White Chicks. Didn't know that needed to be a rule, but it is now.

Most of the time, I'm not real sure myself. It's a lot easier to just not think about it.

What, you had a crappy life that somehow got better because the apocalypse hit, too?