Seeking advice

[blackeyedprince]

I understand that this is a bit sudden, but...

If you were looking for a writer's pseudonym, what would you consider a good fit?

Just nothing sounding like a nickname for a mercenary or gang member, please.

- Kell

Comments

[princessvegas]

Use your porn name. Your first pet's name + the name of the street you grew up on.

Mine is Daisy Pearl.

[blackeyedprince]

A... what name?!

I... doubt the place I grew up in has a street name... [it's a palace, they usually don't.]

I never had a pet...

I guess, I'm disqualified then.

[princessvegas]

A porn name. Like a name you use for porn movies so your real name don't get famous for smut.

You never had a pet? That's super sad. You should get one.

[blackeyedprince]

What pet did you have?

[Watch him blatantly ignoring the first part of her answer.]

[princessvegas]

I've had lots of pets before. I'm from way out in the country, where everyone has animals. Daisy was a dog, though. Just a little black mutt we got from someone who had puppies on their farm. I was maybe three or four? She got hit by a car when I was ten.

[blackeyedprince]

I'm sorry to hear that. It must have been terrible for you as a kid. I bet she was a sweet pup.

[princessvegas]

Yeah, she was a good girl. I had other pets over the years, cats and bunnies and a few other dogs. Usually whatever someone else gave us. My aunt and uncle had a farm, too, and I had a horse that was sort of mine who lived there. Ridley. I got him when I was eight or nine.

[blackeyedprince]

Sounds like a fun childhood.

[is this jealousy? why yes, it definitely is]

[princessvegas]

I mean, that's just kinda what it was like where I lived. Most folks had animals.

[ She's from rural America. Animals were just a part of life. Growing up poor and with few prospects isn't exactly fun. ]

[blackeyedprince]

Cool. The only animals I had contact with were horses, some stray cats and hunting dogs. I don't really like hunting.

[He's a prince from magical London, raised to be his kingdom's best weapon. Growing up lacking nothing but freedom and parental love ... was surely something. Not really fun, but beats starving on the street every time. But he needs to be reminded about this fact of life.]

[princessvegas]

So it sounds like you did have animals. A hunting dog is just a trained dog. We had those where I grew up too. It didn't mean they weren't pets too. You can still love on them and stuff.

Did anyone STOP you from having a pet? Or did you just never get one for yourself?

[earthborn]

They called that a stripper name where I grew up.

[princessvegas]

Works for both! I'd only use a first name if I was a stripper, though. Porn stars need a last name.

[earthborn]

I don't think my brand would work out in either case.

"Ripper the Tenth" isn't exactly what you think when you picture cam-girl material.

[princessvegas]

Just needs minor changes. Ripper Ten, maybe. It works if you don't mind getting pinholed into some real niche content.

[earthborn]

I see that Tenth Street can't stop screwing me over, even now. Go figure. But, I'm already more than halfway into the xeno market anyways, might as well commit. Hypothetically.

Nice to meet you. Miss Pearl.

[princessvegas]

How is that something you can be HALFWAY into? Seems pretty all or nothing.

Back atcha, Ripper.

[earthborn]

Well, I've got this alien boyfriend, but it's pretty much my first time dating outside the species.

[Unless you count one-off encounters with Asari. Which Shepard doesn't particularly care to; the more she could forget about the experience, the better.]

Hey, Ripper's a classic! What kind of pet gets stuck with "Daisy"?

[princessvegas]

Well you can't say things like that without spilling the tea. What kinda alien? Little green man style? Does he have a dick or just like a tentacle? Oh, or is it that thing where you have to touch braids and that's sex?

Daisy was a dog! A little black one.

[earthborn]

...Walked right into that. Fair enough.

He's a Turian. About seven feet tall, face somewhere between a bird, a dinosaur, and cricket— surprisingly good kisser for a guy with no lips. No comment on the equipment on a public channel, but I have no complaints about my sex life. There's something to be said for a guy who responds to a booty call by immediately committing to extensive research on how to best please your human.

More importantly.

How little? Like a pug, or a poodle, or something?

[princessvegas]

I have no idea what a Turian is, but you're not painting the prettiest picture of the poor guy. No judgment, just maybe don't use the word "cricket" to describe your boyfriend's face. So aliens are like, compatible? With human parts?

I don't come from a place where we have real aliens. Well, maybe we do. There's like, billions of planets. But we never met 'em. Furthest my people ever got was Mars, and that was empty. Anyway, all I know about aliens comes from movies and shit.

She was maybe like, forty pounds. Just a mutt, with legs that were kinda stubby.

[earthborn]

Well my people had a colony with like six cities and millions of inhabitants before they discovered the secret to FTL drives there, so... give it time.

And trust me, cricket is apt enough. He's got these uh... mandible things, on the sides? I don't know what they're for. I stopped thinking of it as weird a long time ago; Garrus and me go way back.

[princessvegas]

No, I can say with certainty that my world's people ain't EVER gonna colonize Mars or anything else.

But don't the pincers dig in? Like, on your face, okay sure, but... I'm like the Sahara just imagining anything else.

[earthborn]

Well you're never gonna get laid in space with that attitude. You gotta toughen up. Can't have the hot spaceman if you can't handle a little bit of the spikey monster stuff.

Besides, and I say this with complete respect, but the man is a dork. Once you get to know him, he's about as intimidating as teddy bear.

(just a drive by - not really posting anything, just staring at text)

[blackeyedprince]

[Kell stares with a mix of dread and awe at the conversation below. It did short-circuit his brain for one, hot second. Here he thought he has seen it all. Nope. Nope.
Sweet Saints, what have I unleashed into the world?

also... you know he's just making notes right? this is fascinating]