@all (during the week everyone's in nocwich)

[takeatrip]

I know everyone's a little preoccupied at the moment, so I'll keep this short.

I didn't think it'd be a problem to wait a few weeks to visit the Horizon for the first time, but obviously that was a mistake, so I'm hoping someone can help me out with getting there sooner rather than later. I've heard you lose your memory the first trip, and I get that people might not be interested in babysitting right now, so I don't care if you just abandon me there; I'll figure it out.

[Is this a terrible idea? Probably, but it still seems entirely worth it at the moment. He isn't a total idiot, though, so he also adds--]

And if there's anything in particular that might be good to know about the whole thing, I'd be interested in hearing it.

Thanks.

Comments

[earthborn]

I'm not doing anything except sitting around drinking whatever the medics tell me to.

[All of it vile, if you're wondering.]

You seem to have the basics of communication through the Horizon down, so there's that. You ever do any kind of guided meditation?

[takeatrip]

What a coincidence; that's what I've been doing.

[It really is all terrible, though after everything it's hard to complain too much.]

Yeah, once. Can't say I remember a whole lot about how it works, though.

[Which might be because he was utterly terrible at it, but best not to say that, perhaps. He has a whole lot more motivation to make it work this time.]

[earthborn]

It's pretty straightforward; long, slow breathing, try to let yourself unfocus on the world, that kind of thing. It feels like falling asleep, and then having extremely vivid dreams. You'll need to be in physical contact with someone who's been there before, the first time, if you want it to work.

[She thinks a minute.]

...You did say someone'd talked to you about the side effects, right?

[takeatrip]

[Oh, right, now he remembers why he'd been so bad at it. All of that is exactly opposite of how his brain usually works, but perhaps the deep exhaustion of the last several weeks will actually be useful for something.]

Okay. That doesn't sound too bad.

[Side effects, though, sounds a little ominous.]

Aside from losing your memory the first time? I did hear about that, but if there's anything else, I don't know about it.

[earthborn]

Yeah, it's complicated. I've got a working theory that it brings you closer to the Singularity, somehow— you might start to show the ability to work with the local "magic".

[Yes she's putting quotation marks on this. Shepard doesn't believe in magic, magic is just a word for something you're unable, or unwilling, to explain. But it's not like she's going to be conducting scientific research anytime soon, and she has to call it something.]

At least that's how it worked for me. It might've just been a coincidence, but the timing is pretty suspicious. It's not so bad.

[takeatrip]

[That is not even slightly what he'd been expecting to hear; when he hears side effects, he thinks more of what happened with the technology he used at home. This is... Really cool, actually. He'd heard about the possibility of learning magic, but hadn't even had a chance to begin looking into it before everything had happened.]

Is there any downside to that? Being able to use the magic of this place?

[earthborn]

Depends.

[There is a brief, but noticeable pause while she tries to find the words.]

Listen, the one thing I know about stuff like this is that there's always a cost associated with it. It might not be obvious upfront, but the other side of having... abilities... is having to watch yourself, be your own babysitter, or deal with the consequences of failing to do so. Or choosing not to.

Which is, incidentally, part of why I've been stuck in this fucking bed for so many consecutive days. So take that however you want. I'm not your mother.

[takeatrip]

[There are certainly multiple ways he could interpret that, and he'll have to consider them in more depth later; he'd like to ask, but from her last comments he gets the sense--whether accurate or not--she's not interested in elaborating, and he has no interest in annoying her when she's offered to help him.]

I'll keep that in mind. Magic's not a thing where I'm from, so this is all new to me.

[And he feels he should ask--]

It's not going to affect your recovery? To show me how to get into the Horizon?

[earthborn]

No clue. I'm not too worried about it; been spending half my time on the Horizon anyways.

[It is boring here, you see. She is not a good patient, by any stretch of the imagination.]

Magic isn't a "thing" for me, either, back home. But when in Rome... Oh— I'm Shepard, by the way. You'll probably need a name, if you're trying to actually find me.

[aquilus]

[Altaïr assumes someone else will offer a hand with the initial guided meditation part. Hopefully not everyone makes that assumption.]

You may want to try recreating something you know when you begin experimenting with shaping space in the Horizon. It's less disorienting to have familiarity as a point of focus.

[takeatrip]

Sounds like a good idea. Is it always tougher to make something you're not familiar with, or is that more just for getting started?

[aquilus]

I think that depends on the strength of one's imagination. Perhaps artists are more able to start with anything, but I began with where I was born.

[takeatrip]

Where was that?

[He's curious in general, but also to see if it's somewhere he might recognize.]

[aquilus]

Masyaf. It's in Syria, if that means anything to you.

[He's learned it often isn't, but he's curious himself how many Summoned come from wildly different land masses.]

[takeatrip]

I'm not familiar with Masyaf, but I know of Syria. Never been there though, since it's halfway across the world from where I'm from.

[But it's a recognizable location, which is a pleasant surprise.]

[aquilus]

[Up until hours before he arrived here, Altaïr would have assumed that to mean England, or perhaps France.]

And where is it that you're from?

[takeatrip]

Washington DC, in the United States. Is that a place that exists for you?

[unwings]

Jayden. I can guide you, if you still need it.

[ give him something to do besides sit and thinking of all the thing he could've done differently. ]

The Horizon's malleable nature can be difficult for some not used to such an environment, but it mostly requires relaxing enough to free your mind.

[takeatrip]

Hey. I appreciate the offer, but I've got the first time out of the way now. Getting back in's been hit or miss though, so if you have any advice on that, I'm all ears.

[Because yeah, that whole 'relaxing enough' thing is far easier said than done, though he's having more trouble getting to the Horizon than creating once he's there.]

[unwings]

Meditation can be difficult to grasp when new to it. There's certain breathing exercises I can share with you that may help.

Quieting a racing mind can be difficult for many humans, but meditation isn't simply a silence or nothingness that's the goal.

[takeatrip]

Sure, I'm willing to try whatever might work.

[Shepard had gone over one breathing technique with him, and he knows another variation or two from other experiences, but he's never found any of them particularly helpful for any of the things they were supposed to be useful for. But he's too determined to get this figured out to be deterred by that, and who knows, maybe Castiel knows something that will work.

Especially since that last comment is news to Jayden.]

It isn't? I thought you're supposed to just be blank.

[unwings]

Emptying a human mind of all things is incredibly difficult. For an advanced practitioner, perhaps, but attempting to force the mind into doing anything is certain to backfire.

It's more a method of observation, acceptance, and letting go. A thought comes, you note it, recognize it, and let it pass. Your mind becomes a stream, but you do not allow the current to carry you along.

[takeatrip]

[Although that sounds a lot easier than trying to quiet his mind, it also sounds... Worse. The idea of letting whatever comes to mind just do so, and then accepting it and letting it pass is almost painful to even consider attempting, let along actually doing so.

However, he's certainly not about to admit that, but he doesn't want to be dismissive either. Fortunately something Castiel's said a few times now has stood out to him, and while he'd been willing to ignore it as a turn of phase, asking about it provides a perfect deflection.]

Okay, I'll give it a shot. Thanks.

I've got to ask though, you've been specifying 'humans'; are you used to talking to people who are not human?

[Of all the weirdness in this place, some people not being human has been one of the least difficult to get used to for Jayden, but it's still pretty novel and so he's curious.]

[unwings]

I'm an angel of the Lord.

Though more recent years, I've had more contact with humans than angels or other superhuman beings, but for most of my life, yes. I've been more used to angels than men.

[takeatrip]

[Although he isn't necessarily surprised to hear confirmation that Castiel isn't human, he certainly wouldn't have guessed angel. But that's more because angels wouldn't have even crossed his mind as a possibility than anything to do with Cas; in fact, this revelation is... Strangely fitting, perhaps? It's surprisingly easy to just accept, at least.

Normally he would have so many questions, but after everything they've all been through, it feels better to wait on all of that. At least when it comes to the big questions, anyway, and so he stays on topic instead with--]

Is this sort of thing easier for angels? Or just different?

[The meditation stuff.]