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Hi. This is Sophia...not really speaking. Thinking? Projecting words into your unsuspecting eyes. I think? This is quite something.

I won't bother you much with my shock and awe about finding myself in a new place. I'm sure there's enough people experiencing the same things than me in your close vicinity. Help them, if you would. I'm sure they will appreciate it.

My reason to send this message is to offer my own help, in one way or another. Back in my world I was finally getting settled into what I had decided to call Dream Therapy. Basically, I can help you dwell into whatever issues you have and find positive, healthy ways to deal with them.

In your dreams. Weird, I know.

I've found that it's easier to visualize and deal with things one feel and think when you can make the issues literally show themselves. Ultimately it's all symbolic of course, but the learning one makes from it it's real indeed.

We can also just talk it out wide awake, I have some training in the more normal type of stuff.

Goodness, this has taken all too much space already. I'll just leave it at that. I don't really need payment of any sort, by the way. Just knowing I'm doing my part is enough.

Anyway, do let me know if you ever need something along those lines. Or if you just want to talk. I feel like I will have much free time for a while.

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my experience is circumstantial. an adjacency more than anything else, primarily linked to somnological studies gone awry.

—I protect those who travel at night. you can see how dreamers would be a component.

Are you a deity? Or work for one? Seems very thematic.

Am I right to assume that your studies are connected to whatever issues you might be experiencing now?

!

( sent first before being swiftly followed up with— )

the second. high priest of khonshu, egyptian god of the moon.

they're not related.

Oh, haven't heard of that guy before. I suppose it makes sense.

They're not? I'm afraid that only opens more questions. At any rate, if you think I can be of use...Marc Spector, I'll be happy to do what I can.

there's no need for formalities. just marc is fine.

to clarify, the studies weren't mine. I was the clean-up crew. interesting problem-solver.

( he starts to write something along the lines of 'my issues are' then stops. scribbles it out and starts again. )

my therapist at home specializes in superhero menticide. a partial relevance, the rest is much more mundane. she had the benefit of knowing who I was before she started working with me. I'm aware I can be difficult due to some of my more challenging aspects, which I would be happy to discuss in detail before either of us make a decision.

where are you located?

Marc the Just. I get it.

[ ... ]

That was a joke, by the way.

A superhero? Curioser and curioser.

I am in Thorne, but there are ways to contact each other in a more private matter if needed.

text-based humor, my one weakness.

you mean nocwich and horizon?

I am just very bad at jokes.

There's always that, but with enough focus I could just visit you in a dream. It would be easier after we meet in person first, of course. And maybe for the best, since I talked big about trust.

you might be shocked to learn jokes aren't exactly my forte either.

I've certainly been more reckless but in the interest of success, in-person is probably the better shout.

At least we have that in common.

So we have those two options. I haven't been to Horizon yet, so I'm partial to go there explore as well.

well... between you and I, I'm going to hope there's not too much else.

horizon, then.

There can always be good things?

I have yet to finish talking to others and arranging whatever meetings might come, but once I have a schedule worked out I will contact you. It shouldn't take long.

If there's anything else I should know, it wouldn't hurt telling me. We can use a more private channel.

I'll leave that for you to decide.

private.
dissociative identity disorder.
brain damage — the official line is that my mind has been "irrevocably changed" by commune with an outer-terrestrial being.

the other official line is I'm just crazy, which isn't wrong either.

So, there's more than you in your head? And the cause is supernatural, but the damage is more...clinically certifiable? To put it in simple terms.

I appreciate your trust. And don't worry, I come from a world where the supernatural isn't new, not at least to those in the know. I am not technically human, or alive, so to speak.

The word "crazy" leaves too much unsaid. Mental health is no laughing matter. I cannot say I know of similar cases, but depending what you seek as a result, we could work something out.

( first— )

1. correct. 2. no. I developed DID as a child, long before khonshu came into my life. my understanding is the latter means the former presents atypically.

technically, what are you?

( second— )

don't get me wrong, I'm not using the term to make light of my condition, but there are actions and choices that can be very difficult to defend. logically speaking.

the two don't necessarily go hand-in-hand.

But you would say that Konshu's presence has...exacerbated your DID? I admit, I am not a certified psychologist, or psychiatrist. I was following a course before ending here, but I will not pretend to be a profesional. Most of what I do comes second nature to me, which is fortunate.

As for what I am...the technical term is Imaginary Automaton. Someone, my maker, used part of his thoughts, memories, feelings, extremely advanced magic and rituals to bring me forth. I used to be a mere thought without form, then a doll with no will on its own, until my growth brought fort sentience. There's more to it, but I think that's a conversation I would prefer to have in person. Half of me exists in the material world, and the other half exists as an abstract construct, something that doesn't exist in the conventional sense.

Hopefully this won't turn you away. I might be still learning what it means to... be, but my desire to do good is sincere.

So you mean to say that sometimes you act irrationally, to your own detriment, and you and your other selves don't always look eye to eye? I still don't want to dismiss your condition with a word like "crazy".

You're just different. Like me. We're all different.

please. I was brought back to life by a moon god. I don't think I'm in any position to judge. still, that explains the affinity for dreams. ( or so he assumes. )

no. my condition is under control.

I mean to say ( what, exactly? her assertion is pretty much on the money, which is to say — does he regret the turn the conversation's taken? yes. does he regret starting the conversation in the first place? also yes. does he wish he could just ignore the conversation and leave it here? yep.

the half-sentence sits unfinished for a moment or two: for marc, there's a difference between being different — which he is and knows he is — and everything else. ) I am not a nice man, sophia. the reason I was seeing a therapist at home was not because I have DID. in fact, we rarely talk about that. ( a fact that, whilst it hasn't escaped marc's notice, isn't something he's chosen to truly, really linger on the whys of. instead, he's filed it away with all the other 'let's ignore this until I'm forced to deal with it by external forces' problems. )

I'll be candid with you: I tried to take over the world. I was told and I did. it's a common theme.

My affinity for dreams is part of something bigger, which coincidentally also involves me having a pact of sorts with a god. Are you familiar with Yaldabaoth?

And you might not consider yourself nice, or even good, but you're here, talking to me, seeking to do something about it.

So you went batshit insane and decided to take over the world and become an evil overlord, or some version of it. Big whoop. I don't know much about superheroes but it seems like a common trope.

[ Sorry, she doesn't read comics. ]

Specially since it seems there was someone telling you to. Your agency is important, but I do believe your circumstances are a bit more complicated.

I'm Jewish. ( or: yes, very, very vaguely. etymology and an interest in languages. ) bringer of chaos? ( doesn't sound quite right but whatever. )

less common than you'd think. but amongst other reasons, that's why I don't really take offense to being called crazy.

Edited 2022-12-02 21:11 (UTC)

More like evil Demiurge, fake creator that trapped souls in bodies and made them believe he was the ture god.

According to him that's unfortunately the tale people that know him knows about, but he claims to not be all that bad.

He's still very sketchy, but I literally owe him my life.

Well, we can always work things out. I have faith we can at least sort some things out.

hmm, interesting. frankly, I don't trust anyone that tries to convince anyone else they're not "that bad".

stories are the currency of gods. his exist for a reason.

...that's something else you and I share in common.

"faith". ( heh. ) that's cute. deliberate?

So far he's given me no reason to doubt him, but it's not like he has my blind trust. He did make it so our connection has no hold over me, which is appreciated.

Not that he's not strong enough to do whatever he wants, but gods have ways to interact with the world.

Deities in my world feed on belief, yes. They both exist due to the collective consciousness, but predate it. Whether they owe their existence to us or vice versa, it's hard to tell.

[ She chuckles. Words. Words are awesome, fuck yeah.

She's such a nerd. ]

Unintended, but fitting.

my understanding of gods in my world is that it depends on the god. the egyptian pantheon has limited influence on the modern world, as one might expect. they exist primarily in the overvoid - trapped, but able to project their consciousness. others, like the æsir, exist alongside mortals and their existence has no relation to belief.

still others, like the one my father worshipped, are... seemingly indifferent.

a mixed bag.

it is, isn't it?

They're a known factor in my world, but they don't show themselves all too often. It's usually not a good thing when they do, because they always want something.

Hopefully we don't need to deal with them here.

Never been good at puns...or humor. I'll try to not test my luck.

khonshu tends to be a fan of vengeance — and in his more interesting moments, hearts.
my experience with other gods is somewhat lacking.

mm, you know what they say: quit while you're ahead.

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cw: mental illness

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