to: everyone

[ordinar]

Hey everyone. I don't know if I'm supposed to introduce myself... I'm Wilhelm.

Ugh, that sounded so lame...

Fuck. How do you delete a message you're sending with your mind?

Okay, never mind. Anyway, I was wondering about a few things.

1. So...I sort of accidentally set my bed on fire. Like, with just my hands. If it wasn't already obvious, this is a new thing for me. Is this the Singularity's way of telling me to go burn something down? It's fine now, by the way. I put it out. I'm still freaking out though, so if anyone has tips on how to avoid accidentally committing arson...I'd appreciate it.

2. Everyone made a big deal about these arcana signs, but I don't really get the point of them. What do they actually mean? What are they for?

3. What does anyone do for fun around here?

Thanks.

Comments

[ordinar]

Nobody says that. Why does everyone want to talk about piss?

[stations]

If nobody says that, how come everyone's talking about it?

[ordinar]

I don't know, I don't want to examine your weird fixation.

[stations]

Woah, okay, I don't have a fixation
Well, I mean, I do, but not on that
Mostly just on like
Books and coffee

[ordinar]

Don't act like a weirdo and then nobody will assume you are one.

[stations]

No, no I'm definitely a weirdo. That ship's already sailed. I'm just not like an R. Kelly brand weirdo.

[ordinar]

Isn't that that singer who, like...?

[Yeah, leaving that thought unfinished.]

Gross. You just set the bar SO fucking low.

[stations]

I guess I'm better at hurdling than limbo.

( That is not even remotely true, he has a fake leg, but whatever. )

[ordinar]

Not really hurdling if the bar is on the ground.

[Anyway. What was the point of this conversation? Oh yeah...]

Do you have any actual advice, or...?

[stations]

Yeah, probably not anything seven people haven't said already, sorry.

I do have a lot of experience putting out spontaneous fires, though, so I guess if you ever need a hand with that, I'm in the third bedroom. I'm the guy with the books.

[ordinar]

Sure, I'll be the guy pounding on the door.

I think I can put it out. I mean, the same way I made it appear. I threw water on it, but part of it was still burning. Then suddenly it went out. I just...have to figure out how I did it.

[stations]

Well, in the meantime, I feel like I really have to emphasize the books thing, because if there's a house fire or something I have one leg, and I'm surrounded by kindling. I'm a total goner. Maybe just wake me up until you find a good wizard tutor.

[ordinar]

Oh, shit.

[He meant to think that, not...say it, but that's the problem with texting in your head.]

I'll be careful. I mean, I was already going to try to be careful. But if anything happens, I'll warn you first.