[Will he? Maybe. One day. In the future. How far ? Who can tell. Not him by any means.]
I'm just frustrated. That's all.
[It's a lie. Of course, it's a lie. Yet Kell is too proud and stubborn to admit the truth. That he hates it.
He hates that nothing, not a single thing, has turned as he thought it would be. That he's permanently overworked and underslept trying to juggle all the thing he wants to do, on top of the things he had no idea that needs to be done, so they are both fed, have clean clothes, not living in filthy house or freezing to death in harsh Nott winter. All this so Rhy could concentrate on his duties as liason. Which are many. That's the least he can do knowing all too well that he's pretty useless in any diplomatic task that's more than being a glorified postman.
That he is the one not taking their move well. That he left so much good things he did not appreciate enough right until he lost them, to hear no gratitude ... or at least not in a way that counts in his opinion.
That Lila might have had a point calling him spoiled. That Mildred might have had a point calling his move madness. That Yennefer was right telling him to his face that it would be harder for him to study, while he won't completely escape from under the scrutiny as he hopes to.
But would never want to go back to the castle. It would have been like admitting defeat, and he's too proud to that. Instead, he advertises the wonders of Nott to all his friends that remain in the castle, in vain hope that maybe some day he will even believe it. He says nothing to Lucifer, though. He's the only one who would smell the deceit from a mile away.
All this while he privately seethes and stews in his hatred. Once again looking for excuses to go somewhere else.]
no subject
[Will he? Maybe. One day. In the future. How far ? Who can tell. Not him by any means.]
I'm just frustrated. That's all.
[It's a lie. Of course, it's a lie. Yet Kell is too proud and stubborn to admit the truth. That he hates it.
He hates that nothing, not a single thing, has turned as he thought it would be. That he's permanently overworked and underslept trying to juggle all the thing he wants to do, on top of the things he had no idea that needs to be done, so they are both fed, have clean clothes, not living in filthy house or freezing to death in harsh Nott winter. All this so Rhy could concentrate on his duties as liason. Which are many. That's the least he can do knowing all too well that he's pretty useless in any diplomatic task that's more than being a glorified postman.
That he is the one not taking their move well. That he left so much good things he did not appreciate enough right until he lost them, to hear no gratitude ... or at least not in a way that counts in his opinion.
That Lila might have had a point calling him spoiled. That Mildred might have had a point calling his move madness. That Yennefer was right telling him to his face that it would be harder for him to study, while he won't completely escape from under the scrutiny as he hopes to.
But would never want to go back to the castle. It would have been like admitting defeat, and he's too proud to that. Instead, he advertises the wonders of Nott to all his friends that remain in the castle, in vain hope that maybe some day he will even believe it. He says nothing to Lucifer, though. He's the only one who would smell the deceit from a mile away.
All this while he privately seethes and stews in his hatred. Once again looking for excuses to go somewhere else.]